The ramblings and tales of The Ah-Nai-Alator.

An Ostenato of the Soul (poem for course this week)

2008-08-01T20:13:32Z

Intro: “It’s my own interpretation of passion, how it feels and how we create it.”

Bodies moving in unison,
Utter Perfection,
Like two virtuoso pianists playing a beautiful symphony,
They are a midnight symphony,
An intertwining of limbs, hearts, breaths.

Souls burn like the blaze of a forest fire,
The room aflame,
Burning.
A pairing of magnesium and oxygen,
An iridescent chemical reaction of the heart.

Caresses were silent, like a violin without strings
Eyes were closed, an eclipse of all things,
Fingers danced in adoration,
Leaving marks like a night skies constellations,
An ostenato of shooting bullets to the soul,
Relentless like a perfectionists drive,
An orchestra,
That never ends,
They are a midnight symphony.

Dedicated to all the boys who think they're fit...but they're not...LMAO

2008-07-24T20:55:47Z

I see the way you pout in those cheap MySpace photos,
I see how you flick your hair, with your fringe in your eyes,
I see how you stare, oh yes I see how you stare!
I even saw you once in your UNDERWEAR!

Coz he thinks he’s fit but he’s not, no he’s not,
Yeh he thinks he’s such a sex god, but he’s not, but he’s not, not, not!

Just coz I used to say OH EM GEE! Yeh you! Yeh you! You’re so sexy!!! You’re so sexyyy!
It don’t mean that you are babe, coz now I got glasses I can see far babe!
Back in the day before I had common sense, I used be like raaaar! Dude your eyes are intense,
But now I see your girlfriend, is just as dumb as a pea and man I bet you wish she was just like ME!

I got my cosplay hommies, Yeh I got my black girl cronies, but they are all much fitter than you,
And to me...You may as well be a piece of POO!

Coz he thinks he’s fit but he’s not, no he’s not,
Yeh he thinks he’s such a sex god, but he’s not, but he’s not, not, not!

You’re so unsexy it makes me sick,
Please put down the camera coz you just take the mick,
I mean, how can your status be ‘I need some dates...’
When according to your MySpace you’ve got like over 50 gazillion mates!

Coz he thinks he’s fit but he’s not, no he’s not,
Yeh he thinks he’s such a sex god, but he’s not, but he’s not, not, not!

I bet Photoshop is your only friend,
Coz you will keep those poses right till the end,
I bet you used to think ‘She’ll cry over me I know she will.’
But when I think of you, it just makes me feel really ill.

Coz he thinks he’s fit but he’s not, no he’s not,
Yeh he thinks he’s such a sex god, but he’s not, but he’s not, not, not!
Coz he thinks he’s fit but he’s not, no he’s not,
Yeh he thinks he’s such a sex god, but he’s not, but he’s not, not, not!
No he’s not, no he’s not, no he’s not not not not not not not not not not!!!

Meh...

2008-06-28T20:45:32Z

So...No ones reading my fics, I think I may hang up my slashy coat and stop writing 'Everything's Magic' or at least stop posting it here anyway since the only person who actually take time to read it is my best friend from my school...Oh and no one read my Bob/Frank fic even though I posted it on at least 3 communities, just as I have done with 'Everything's Magic'. I know writing isn't all about getting a bunch of fans but I write for people, I write so people can read my fics and feel kinda happy or something or get that nice feeling of having read a cool fic, coz that's how I feel when I read good fics, and I like to give the writer a sense of pride in that they can know that people have enjoyed reading their fic, but it seems no one really cares about my fics...And frankly I can't be bothered with it anymore, I love writing I really do but when I find that my poetry gets more appreciation on writers cafe than my fics do I start to wonder if I should write them at all, I know writers cafe isn't exactly full of slash readers but Livejournal is! So how is it that not a single person except my best friend has taken a little bit of time to read my fic that I put all my heart into, and then actually comment it for me!!! She even came online to read my Bob/Frank fic when she doesn't get on terribly often.

Basically I don't think I can be bothered anymore...It's not like anyone will be really sad about it if I did stop writing fics (cept maybe jackie...), maybe I'll just stick to posting poetry on writers cafe...-shrugs- It takes a lot as it is to even keep me writing a fic but I'm lost for motivation.

Au revoir slashy world!

P.S. I'll keep reading simply coz I feel I have a duty to certain writers who write amazing fics. e.g. misery_and_hate ('This Turbulence Is Beautiful'), and also 8018 ( 'Obsessed', go to slashatthedisco if you wana read her fic <3.), who both write amazing Rydon's <3

'I feel like a hero and you are my heroine.' (Standalone)

2008-06-25T15:11:23Z

Title: 'I feel like a hero and you are my heroine.' (Standalone)
Author: infamous_gmo
Rating: hmmm 12? Mentions of self harm and angst.
Pairing: Frob/Bonk (LMAO!)??? Basically its Frank and Bob...
Bandom: My Chemical Romance (L)
POV: 3rd person?
Summary: Frank tends to self harm and hides it well but one night Bob decides to question Frankie's flawed facade, and he finds something he didn't expect...
Disclaimer: Sooo not true...Title belongs to Boys Like Girls (not true lol)
Author Notes: Was watching ‘Famous Last Words’ on Kerrang and suddenly thought LETS WRITE FROB!!! ^_^ then when I got on the laptop ‘heroheroine’ started playing so I thought one is these guys is gonna have a problem...also the late night laptop thing is coz that’s what I do XD
Dedications: Kerrang! music channel XD

-----

Bob sighed to himself as he heard the light footsteps of Frankie patter towards him where he was sitting quite happily, and alone, at the back of the tour bus surfing the net as usual at 3am.

Bob did this almost every night that they were on tour, it was the only time he got to himself and he drank enough coffee during the day to not die during a performance. He never had time in the daylight hours to catch up on his emails or look for more random crap to order for himself; his current item of choice was a pair of black Dr Martins embellished with yellow stars; he had a thing for black and yellow, when he was a kid every called him bobby bee, which fit since his last name begins with ‘B’.

He sighed again before saying, “Hey Frankie, dreams again?”

Frank replied with a small nod before wrapping his marshmallow like duvet a little tighter around his shoulders once more.

“Ok, you can sit here with me but try not to stare too much...its a little unnerving...” Bob whispered as Frank shuffled over to him and leant his head on Bob’s shoulder, Bob kissed the top of it lightly but could not put his arm round the little man since the duvet was in the way and he’d not be able to tight if he did.

Frank, finding himself awfully squashed decided to drop the duvet on the floor so he could get a little closer to Bob, he looked up at Bob and grinned contentedly before closing his eyes, and Bob couldn’t help but notice the dark shadows under Frank’s eyes, and the way that his long eyelashes added to the shadowing.

Once again for the third time since Frank’s arrival tonight, Bob sighed.

He often worried about his dear little friend Frank, no one else noticed the fact that Frank never ate, or slept, but yet was always insanely hyper never letting his guard down for a single second, but Bob had seen the real Frank and it was nothing like the happy facade he often wore with his pale makeup and red eye shadow.

For some reason tonight felt different for Bob, Frank was never normally this...affectionate and as much as he was happy to cuddle Frank, he worried if perhaps something was wrong. He decided Frank would talk to him tonight instead of lie here looking adorable; he poked Frank a few times until he looked awake.

“Frank? Is there anything you want to tell me? Coz if there is please say it, I’m worried about you Frank, you never eat, never sleep, and I know you’re not happy...But...I- I could make you happy Frank...” Bob whispered looking Frank right in the eyes with utter sincerity. “Just let me in...”

“I- I don’t know what to say Bob, I’m not happy...I’m not happy at all...” Frank replied looking more scared than ever as he slowly began to roll up his sleeves with tears in his eyes not looking away from Bob once, waiting for an angry reaction, like he’d received from his ex Brian, the only man Frank ever loved but had left him when Frank got the courage to show him his scars.

Bob was speechless, he couldn’t believe what Frank was showing him; his arms, both of them, covered from top to bottom in lines, some white having faded, over angry and red protruding slightly as they were so recent.

“Why Frank? Why couldn’t you tell me? Did you think I’d be like Brian? You know I’ve stuck by you no matter what, I’ll never leave you...This is what the nightmares are all about” Bob didn’t know where the words came from but he knew that was what he’d wanted to say to Frank, because after all this time something inside of him had finally woken up and was now shouting at him telling him he was in love with Frank and had been since the very first time he’d saw a tear fall from his beautiful green eyes, because from that day forward he’d made a secret vow to himself that he’d do whatever he could for the rest of his life to make his little Frankie never shed another tear.

Frank didn’t reply he just gave Bob the faintest of smiles, making Bob’s heart melt, suddenly Bob felt curious to how Frank’s scars would feel to touch. He couldn’t stop his fingers any longer as slowly, nervously, tenderly and lovingly he began tracing the lines with his fingers as softly as his calloused fingers could. This made Frank oddly happy, he’d never felt so loved, he truly believed Bob when he’d said I’ll never leave you and he felt his heart beat a little faster as Bob’s fingers danced further and further up his scarred left arm, reaching his neck, causing him to close his eyes as he enjoyed Bob’s soft touch, much soften than any man’s, much much softer than the wild rough touch of his ex.

Then he felt a headphone slip into his ear and listened carefully as he heard the beautiful lyrics of ‘Heroheroine’ by Boys Like Girls. Frank had always loved that song and its perfect lyrics and suddenly realised why Bob has put the headphone is his ear.

Bob continued stroking Frank’s neck for some time and Bob put his laptop away and lay on the tiny couch with Frank wrapped tightly in his thick arms. H really enjoyed the smell of Frank’s hair and they lay there happily as the sun began to rise and Bob knew that it was now or never; if he didn’t tell Frank he was in love with him now, he’d never have this much courage to do it anytime soon.

“Frank?” He began apprehensively as Frank looked up and stared into Bob’s blue eyes curiously and Bob returned the stare feeling his heart beat faster and his hands become sweaty with nerves.

“Bob?” Frank replied smiling at Bob with something in his eyes that Bob was quite unsure he was reading correctly...Was this love?

“I- I don’t know how to say this to y-y-you Fr-Frankie...” Bob stuttered, but he was stopped by Frank’s finger having been put to his lips. Frank hushed him gently removing his finger as Bob looked at him questioningly.

“Close your eyes don’t say a word.” Frank said assertively, much to Bob’s surprise as he raised an eyebrow but obeyed Frank all the same.

Then a few seconds later he felt something softer than silk press on his lips gently, Frank was scared but he still continued to press his lips against Bob’s. Bob was stunned, this was all he could’ve hoped for and more, nervously he began to respond just as softly, sliding his hand to the back of Frank’s soft neck.

After quite a long while of them kissing lovingly, they heard some shuffling and then the sound of four voices awwwing at them in unison.

“FINALLY!” Gerard exclaimed clapping his hands together, as Ray high fived Mikey, and Alicia was positively beaming.

The four beaming faces grinned at the adorable new couple happily, and all Bob and Frank could do was grin back sheepishly. Once all the fuss was over and Ray asked when the wedding was, Bob leant close to Frank’s ear and whispered “I love you Frank Anthony Iero.”

“I love you too Bob Bryar, I think you saved my soul, you’re my hero.” Frank replied, but was silence before he could continue by Bob’s lips pressing against his once more.

At that exact moment they both sang to themselves in their heads, “I feel like a hero and you are my heroine...”

infamous_gmo @ 2008-06-21T21:54:00

2008-06-21T20:55:19Z

MY FIRST EVER COMMUNITY PEEPS!!!!! ^_^ Please check it out the only fic on there so far is my own one, but I've got a friend who's gonna be writing one that she'll post here soon ^_^ Feel free to request posting and friendship if you've got any Pete/Ryan fics or anything that involves at least one of these two guys.

Everything's Magic, Chapter 4/?

2008-06-20T00:37:32Z

Title:

Everything's Magic,

Author: infamous_gmo
POV: Pete Wentz
Rating: PG
Pairing: Eventual Pete/Ryan, seemingly Pete/Bert for short time, Pete/Ashlee for ever shorter time xD.
Summary: Pete loves bert but bert doesn't feel the same...they have a rollercoaster relationship but Pete can't help but love him till he starts to realise bert's not the only other person on the planet, infact the person who wants nothing more than to be with him and love him like he deserves is right under his very nose. It's takes a long time to get there with lots of highs and lows but eventually pete gets happiness and true love. This chapter ends surprisingly well for Pete! Lol
Disclaimer: Haha not mine, the title belongs to Angels and Airwaves, the title of chapter 4 belongs to Hinder <33
Author Notes: I hope you all fall in love with it and want more, coz if I get the commentage I'll be more than happy to keep writing!!! Okay I know these first 3 chapters came in very very fast but please be patient with the next few as these were pre-typed, I hope that this community like it coz I really would like some feed back so I know if I should keep this fic going. Thankoo <3 This chapter was hard to write as it dredged up a lot of the past but it's kinda nice to be able to write it all out and get it out of myself.
Dedications:Trick AKA Jackie <3 She's helping me out with this.
Also my darling Shaun <3 who I couldn't have got through all the hard times without.

Everything’s Magic

Chapter 4

‘Better than Me’

“PETE! OH MY GOD PETE!!!!” Patrick screamed as he saw Pete’s blood stained arm, and then saw him fall to the floor out cold. He couldn’t understand why on earth his best friend would do something like this; he knew he’d had issues before now, but not enough for them to come back to the surface.

Patrick fell to his knees and sobbed uncontrollably as he saw Gerard rush past him to check if Pete was breathing and he saw Brian stand there staring at Pete’s arm.

“Brian! Don’t just stand there help me get Pete up, we’re gona need to take him to his bed at least...”Gerard said quite calmly in comparison to Patrick’s screaming.

So Gerard and Brian lifted Pete by both ends and heaved him onto his own bed, whilst Patrick trailed behind them in utter shock and went to stand by Frank who’d been sitting on Patrick’s bed the whole time as he didn’t want to see what had happened, but of course he had now, so he rushed to Patrick’s side and hugged him tightly.

“Don’t worry Trick, Pete will be okay, he’s tougher than we think....”Frank whispered in Patrick’s ear a little unsurely.

“That’s the problem, we all think he’s so tough damn it! But he’s not! How could I think he’d gotten over everything so easily...I just don’t understand why he’d do this unless something really bad had happened Frank...”Patrick replied biting his lip nervously as he watched Gerard and Brian rush around getting a towel and wrapping it round Pete’s wounds tightly as they tried to wake him up, they would’ve called somebody by now, but they all knew how this would look and knew Pete wouldn’t want anyone to look at him like some kind of suicidal freak.

Then Pete began to respond coughing a little at first but eventually becoming fully awake and staring around at all his friend’s faces, his expression was at first bewilderment, but it slowly turned to horror as he read their expressions and looked at his arm suddenly remembering what he’d done, how he’d allowed the shining razor blade to lure him to this bloody bandaged state.

“I’m so so sorry...” Pete managed to say as tears began to seep down his cheeks and Patrick rushed to his side and fell to his knees and gave Pete his hand.

“Don’t be Pete, just please tell us what’s happened? Why did you do this to yourself? I thought you were ok...I thought Ryan had made you feel kind of better...” Patrick replied between small silent sobs.

“Bert...The common room...He was –sob- kissing...Ashlee...” That was all Pete could manage, then he started crying so much that he couldn’t speak, all his friends’ could was try and hug him and tell him it was okay and he’d be fine and they’d not tell anyone what had happened, unless he wanted them to.

Eventually Brian, Gerard and Frank left, leaving Patrick alone with Pete as Patrick cuddled Pete’s head to his chest and told him he’d be ok, just like they used to when they were young if Pete had got a ‘boo boo’. Patrick was always the one that would fix things for Pete, and he hoped he could fix things this time too.

After sometime Pete fell asleep and Patrick put a cover over him and left him on his bed, he had someone he needed to talk to, and it couldn’t wait a second longer, he had to see Bert, he didn’t know what he could say since Bert and Pete weren’t going out so really Bert could go about kissing whoever he liked, but Patrick still knew he had to say something to Bert, he couldn’t let what had happened to his best friend lie.

----------------------------------------------------

-Knock Knock Knock-

“Come in! It’s not locked!” Was the reply Patrick got after three sharp knocks on Bert’s door.

“Hi Bert.” Patrick said coldly as he entered the room where Bert sat on his bed browsing the net on his laptop.

“Hey Trick, what’s up?” Bert said closing the laptop so Patrick could have his full attention. “If it’s about Pete...I- I can’t really say anything since we’re not dating and I made it clear that I only wanted to be friends with him after that kiss...I told him I’d always be there for him, but that I didn’t feel the same as he did...Although he is great to have around.”

“Right, sure, he’s great to have around to boost your frigging ego I bet!! Oooh look at me I’ve got Pete Wentz hottest guy going chasing after me like a little puppy dog, I bet you loved it! Every last minute. Well I’ve got news for you Bert, Pete’s currently lying in our dorm room crying his fucking eyes out with goddamn bandages all the way up his fucking arm you stupid bastard!!! ALL BECAUSE YOU CAN’T KEEP YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ASHLEE SIMPSON!!! You knew how he felt and you could have been just a little bit more considerate you know, maybe not be sitting in the common room making out with one of Pete’s friends, someone Pete actually was starting to like! But nooo! You just can’t help yourself can you!” By this time Patrick was shaking like crazy and he was so red he looked like he was about to explode, if Patrick wasn’t so small it’d have been pretty terrifying.

“How can you blame me for Pete doing that to himself? I’m sorry I didn’t know he felt so strongly about me, I never thought he’d do something like that, I’d always admired him so much for the way he could just brush things off...” Bert replied looking only slightly ashamed.

“Oh just fuck off Bert, just fuck off!!! Everyone thinks Pete’s so tough but HE’S NOT!!!!!! I don’t care if you don’t think you should be blamed but for fuck sake feel a little bit sorry at least...The guys in love with you...I- I have nothing more to say to you because your face pisses me off so damn much I just wana smash it...Bye Bert...” Then Patrick stormed out of the room falling against a wall shortly after he slammed Bert’s door closed, that shouting had really taken it out of Patrick, he’d never seen himself so angry.

He hurried back to his room to check on Pete, but found no one there when he arrived, but he did find a note it read:

I’ve gone out to get some air, don’t come looking for me, I just need some time alone, please Trick, and don’t worry about me.

But of course Patrick was going to worry, he was terrified Pete would do something stupid again, and he didn’t know if he could really take it. He hated knowing that the person causing his best friend so much pain was still breathing the same air he was, but he knew there was nothing he could do but give Pete some space to himself...meanwhile...

----------------------------------------------------

“Hey Ash, swing by the dorm room babe.” Bert said to Ashlee as they spoke on the phone.

“Ok...Only if you’re sure, Pete looked pretty upset after he saw us, what if we get caught again?” She replied nervously.

“Don’t worry honey, who cares what those guys think? Just come by and see me baby.” Bert said putting the phone down and resting his head back against his headboard, stretching as he did so, whilst Jeph merely sat and shook his head at Bert appearing mildly amused.

“What?” Bert said as he could see Jeph grinning at him.

“I just find it kinda funny that one minute you and Petey are all over each other and now it’s all about you and Ashlee, I bet you don’t even like her and she’s just another one to fix your bruised ego, what’s up? Did Petey turn you down huh?” Jeph said smirking.

“No, he did not turn me down as a matter of fact I turned him down so you can shut your trap, I like Ashlee I have done for a little while now, I know it was all about me and Pete before and I won’t say I don’t care about him a hell of a lot, but I don’t want him like that...at least I don’t think I do...GAH! I just wish everything wasn’t so messy...I don’t know how you do it Jeph...” Bert said sadly as he remembered Patrick’s angry face and shaking fists.

“No string attached, that’s my motto.” Jeph stated. “You’ve changed you used to be able to just get off with chicks and it’d be fine, but since you’ve decided you like guys too it’s all been like Duuuude...”

“I know I know...” Bert said dejectedly, all this stuff was really taking it out of him, he felt so so guilty he knew he’d been leading Pete on and only now realised how bad what he’d been doing was, and he felt so selfish, so wrong.

Knock, Knock.

“Oh Ashlee’s here...” Bert said only slightly cheered up by this, he went and opened the door and was greeted with a passionate kiss as Ashlee held his face in her hands, when he was freed, he stared at her taking in her appearance as she was wearing a gorgeous tight turquoise vest top with a superb cleavage, along with tight black jeans that set off her curves perfectly and a pair of pointed black boots to finish the very sexy look.

“Wow...You look a-a-amazing Ash.” Bert stuttered grinning at her as she entered his room smiling cheekily.

“I think I’ll head out...” Jeph said raising an eyebrow as Ashlee settled herself on Bert’s bed with a light bounce.

Just before he left he gave Bert a thumbs up and winked at him whispering “Go for it, she’s hot!”

This just made Bert grin as he walked over to Ashlee and sat down with her on the bed, as soon as his bum had touched the bed she was on him kissing his face and neck wildly.

“Hey, heeyyy!!” Bert said pushing her slightly but gently. “Slow down Ash; don’t go so fast we don’t want this getting out especially not after how Pete reacted...”

“What are you talking about? All he did was run off.” She replied dumbfounded.

“That’s not all he did Ash...He went back to his room and cut up all of his left arm because of what he saw, because of how he feels about me...don’t say it’s not my fault coz it is, if I’d not been so cuddly with him then he may not of thought there was a chance...I lead him on” Bert finished looking at her sadly.

Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about Pete doing that to himself, Pete a good friend of hers...she felt like she’d let him down, she knew how he felt for Bert but she did it anyway, and even now as she sat here with tears in her eyes she still let Bert hold her and she still said yes when later on after lots of hugs and kisses he asked her if she wanted to be his girlfriend even thought they both knew deep down that it wouldn’t work coz the guilt would get to them eventually.

--------------------------------------------------

The next few weeks were seemingly the worst in Pete’s life, he drifted through lessons, all of it a blur only to feel at all when he saw Ashlee and Burt walk past him hurriedly in the corridor making sure to not make direct eyes contact, but he was happier when he couldn’t feel the pain in his chest when he saw them.

Patrick was worried about him, everyone was worried about him, even some of the teacher’s were worried about him, but when they tried to confront Pete he’d simply put on a brave face and tell them all that he was okay and that he didn’t need any help, or if they said he wasn’t eating he’d say he had no time since he had so much homework, or he’d stuff an apple into his mouth, spitting it out when people were gone.

It hurt to eat, it hurt to breath, it hurt to sleep, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take the lying to everyone, the wearing long sleeved shirts and hundreds of wrist bands to cover the ever growing collection of red marks covering his last arm.

Then one day he was going through his bedside draw and found something he’d forgotten he’d even had...The note from Ryan, or as it had said at the bottom Ryro.

“Oh my God!” Pete exclaimed causing Patrick to almost jump out of skin as he’d not been used to any noise in his room since Pete had gone into his little depression.

“What?! What’s happened?!?” Patrick replied worrying what Pete may have done now since he knew about the scars.

“I found that bit of paper with that guy Ryan’s info on it!” Pete said sounding happier than he had done in weeks; in fact he was actually smiling much to Patrick’s shock, joy and amazement.

Patrick was so overjoyed by Pete’s happiness that he leapt on Pete and gave him a big hug, which much to his horror caused Pete to scream in pain as Patricks arm was crushed against Pete’s cut up left arm.

“Oh shit! I’m so so sorry Tink!!!” Patrick said regretting the hug a little now.

“Aww don’t worry just try not to be so forceful please Trick...It was a nice thought though.” Pete said ending with a small smile as he rushed over to his laptop and planned on logging into his IM for the first time in weeks.

In a matter of minutes he’d added Ryan’s IM and sat impatiently as he nervously waited for Ryan to come online and accept his request.

“Grr, whys he taking so long Triiick!?” Pete whined.

“Calm down, he’ll be on soon.” Patrick answered grinning at Pete’s childishness.

Then finally after 10 minutes of Pete waiting, he finally saw the little box pop up saying that ryrorossyboi@hotmail.com was online at long last.

“Fiiinaaallyyy!!!!” Pete squealed quickly clicking on Ryan’s screen name which read RyroTehGr8 which caused Pete to giggle, his own screen name was currently DeadIsTheNewAlive which was the title of one of his favourite Emilie Autumn songs.

He took the plunge and simply typed:

DeadIsTheNewAlive says: Hi, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Pete Wentz the guy you gave ur info to at Brian’s party.

After a few seconds of worrying for Pete, Ryan finally replied.

RyroTehGr8 says: Oh yeah sure I remember yoo! I was wondering when you’d get around to contacting me, I thought you’d forgot about likkle old Ryan Ross XD I heard you’ve been having a rough time lately, Brian said the guys have been worried about you...

DeadIsTheNewAlive says: Yeh...Things have been pretty hard...you remember that guy I mentioned called Burt, well he’s now going out with this girl called Ashlee who I thought was a good friend of mine, apparently her family isn’t happy about it since all people hear of Burt is trouble trouble trouble...

RyroTehGr8 says: Aww –hugs- It must be so hard seeing them together, I wish I could give you a cuddle. Lolz. I’ve been thinking about you an awful lot since the party Pete.

Conversation generally stayed like this, Pete steadily feeling better and better as he opened up more and more to his new friend Ryan, he couldn’t believe he’d forgotten about Ryan since just looking at his display picture filled his stomach with butterflies and he buzzed nervously every time Ryan took a little too long to reply as he feared something he’d said may have scared him away, Pete was a pretty crazy guy and he was worried that Ryan might think he was weird, but as the days turned into weeks he realised nothing he could say would phase Ryan in the slightest, the cutting had upset Ryan a lot and they’d even had a chat over the phone about it coz he was so upset by it, but other than that Ryan seemed to think all of Pete odd ways were cute, and although for the most part Pete’s depressiveness made very little progress he didn’t seem dead anymore and sometimes on a really good day he’d make polite forced conversation with Burt whilst everyone ate.

----------------------------------------------------------

Then suddenly everything changed...

Buzz Buzz Buzz

“Gah! Who’s texting me at this time?!” Pete complained as his phone vibrated on his chest and had woke him up at 2am, which wasn’t nice since he rarely slept due to unpleasant nightmares.

His eyes widened in shock as he saw the text was from Burt, and his widened even further when he saw what it said:

It’s all over between me and Ash, I couldn’t take her whining and her constant threats anymore, I don’t really want her, in the end I was only with her coz she was there and wanted me...I know how bad that sounds, but I was unhappy with her, it wasn’t anything like the good times we had together...Pete please, Pete forgive me please I miss you so much, please Pete don’t hate me I just want to see you so badly, come meet me in the garden, look out ur window you’ll see me waving.

Pete obeyed and went to the window and just was promised he saw a hooded Burt waving his arms frantically, Pete waved back to show he’d seen Burt, and coz he was an utter sap he quickly put his shoes on, forgot to put on his t-shirt and silently ran out of the room and to the garden where he’d seen Burt.

The first thing he did was run at Burt and leap on him throwing his arms around him as if Burt was his long lost friend who he’d not seen in years, but to Pete that’s how it had felt, and he couldn’t have been happier to have Burt back if he tried, of course he forgave Burt, he’d never hated Burt and never could.

He just hoped Ryan would be as happy about him having Burt back as he was since he’d really come to care about what Ryan thought about stuff, but he knew that Ryan would be happy for him as long as he was happy, and all he wanted was for Pete to be happy and to stop the cutting which had gradually gotten less since Ryan had been helping him and they’d been opening up to each other about their pasts...Now all Pete really hoped was that this time with Burt things would be different and maybe just maybe they could make a go of this...He didn’t wana go back to those dark dark times...When all he could ever think was, I’m glad he’s with her, coz he could do so much better than me...

Everything's Magic, Chapter 3/?

2008-06-15T18:24:32Z

Title:
Chapter 3
'The (After) Life of The Party'
Author: infamous_gmo
POV: Ryan Ross
Rating: PG
Pairing: Eventual Pete/Ryan, seemingly Pete/Bert for short time, Pete/Ashlee for ever shorter time xD.
Summary: Pete loves bert but bert doesn't feel the same...they have a rollercoaster relationship but pete can't help but love him till he starts to realise bert's not the only other person on the planet, infact the person who wants nothing more than to be with him and love him like he deserves is right under his very nose. It's takes a long time to get there with lots of highs and lows but eventually pete gets happiness and true love.
Disclaimer: Haha not mine, the title belongs to Angels and Airwaves, the title of chapter three belongs to Fall Out Boy.
Author Notes: I hope you all fall in love with it and want more, coz if I get the commentage I'll be more than happy to keep writing!!! Before anyone asks, no Brian and Zacky aren't dating in this fic.
Dedications: Trick AKA Jackie <3 She's helping me out with this.
Also my darling Shaun <3 who I couldn't have got through all the hard times without.

“Duuuude! This party is banging!” Pete exclaimed as he entered Brian’s parent’s house with his arm still draped across Ashlee’s shoulder, greeted by a familiar tune, being ‘The City is at War’ By Cobra Starship one of his and Trick’s favourite bands.

Trick smiled, gave him thumbs up and muttered in his ear “I’ll leave you guys to it.” Then he winked and danced his way over to some of their friends from college settling himself between 2 girls.

“So! Ashlee can I get you a drink?” Pete shouted over the din of the music.

“Yeah sure, no punch though please I’d rather just some of that apple juice please hun, the punch just gives me a headache.” She replied giving him one of her cheerful grins, which for some reason made his heart skip a little.

Then his heart suddenly did a double flip when his eyes were averted to the stereo as he looked over to see who had changed the music, ‘The Kill’ by 30 seconds to mars was now playing, and the boy that had started playing it was why his heart had flipped.

“My God...” He thought to himself as his eyes absorbed the appearance of the tall, handsome, skinny, boy standing by the stereo laughing with some of his friends. He had floppy brown hair and hazel eyes not too dissimilar to his own, he was wearing unbelievably tight pin striped skinny jeans and a black blazer accompanied by a baggy white shirt, “Smart yet casual.” Pete thought to himself, very much liking what he saw.

“Pete!” Ashlee shouted at him, bringing him back down to earth with a thud. “Errr, where’s the drink then?” She said prodding him playfully.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry Ash, I’ll go get it, just wait one second.” He replied rather embarrassed. He quickly got his drink and they danced around playfully for a little while before becoming tired and going to sit down on a random couch. Pete had spent most of the time looking around for this mysterious boy with little luck, so he thought.

“I’ve got to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back.” Ashlee said after a little while of discussing how much their teachers irritated them.

“Okay.” Pete replied yawning and stretching. He didn’t know what time it was but he gathered it was very late, so he got up and went to get himself a drink from the kitchen. He carefully slipped past all the people, eventually reaching the fridge, not just finding a drink there, standing in front of the fridge grabbing himself a can of beer, was none other than the mystery boy he’d been looking for all night.

“Errm, ex-excuse me...” Pete mumbled stuttering a little as he tapped the mystery boy on the shoulder, the boy shivered just a bit and turned to face him, he was about to answer back rudely, but stopped in his tracks when his eyes met Pete’s and a grin spread across his face when he saw how cute this bashful boy was.

“Oh, sorry dude, here let me get it for you, what would you like?” The mystery boy answered still grinning at Pete, whilst Pete was merely left stunned by the sheer beauty of this boys smile, it was like the sun breaking through a thick blanket of clouds after a dark and troubling storm.

“I-I, I’ll have what you’ve got thanks.” Pete replied, finding he was almost unable to breath so stunned by this boy and his amazing smile.

“Here you go!” The boy replied cheerfully finding Pete’s stunned expression incredibly cute and amusing, the urge to hug him was excruciating for him, he could hardly bare it, so as he handed Pete the beer, he made his foot do a small slip and lunged forward catching Pete round the shoulders to gain his balance. He clung onto Pete, finding it difficult as Pete was stiff as a door.

“Oh my God! I’m sooo sorry!” The boy said grinning at Pete, their faces merely inches apart. Suddenly Pete’s face was red as a tomato and he couldn’t help but laugh a little, as he suddenly realised the boy’s secret ploy.

“Ha-ha, don’t worry about it, really thanks for the beer, what’s your name?” Pete replied suddenly full of confidence as he swigged his first sip of the bitter tasting beer.

“Oh I’m Ryan, Ryan Ross. What’s your name?” Ryan replied, shifting himself so he could have balance, but let go of Pete, whilst still standing very closely to him.

“I’m Pete, Pete Wentz. I’ve never seen you around here before, what brings you down this neck of the woods?” Pete asked curiously.

“Oh, I’m a friend of one of Brian’s he invited me.” Ryan replied almost pressed right up close to Pete now as the room was so very crowded.

“Oh riiiight.” Pete said smiling at Ryan, very relaxed now that he had some alcohol slowing through him.

Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz

“Oh maaaan! One of my mates just texted me to say his girls thrown up and he needs a hand, I’m so sorry Pete, but I’ve really got to go help him out.” Ryan said sadly as he hurried away leaving Pete to stand by the fridge very much saddened.

“Hmmm I’ll go see if I can find Ashlee...” He thought to himself remembering she’d gone away to the bathroom.

So he drudged back into the sitting room slipping through the crowds with ninja like precision, he slumped down on the sofa he’d left, and Ashlee wasn’t there. “Oh well she must’ve gone to hang with one of her pals...” Pete thought a little disappointed by her disappearance.

He swigged some more beer, becoming very light headed, he tried to stand but failed finding himself very dizzy, he sat back down and looked either side of him, suddenly realising Bert was sat right beside him sleeping.

Pete’s eyes opened wide as he stared at Bert, he’d forgotten all about him, but now here he was right beside him sleeping, looking so peaceful Pete couldn’t bare it, it was like a stabbing in the chest it wasn’t anywhere near as nice as how he’d felt on spotting Ryan, this was pain, pure suffering, torturous pain knowing what he could never have was what he wanted more than anything.

He tried hard to remind himself that as long as Bert was his friend he could handle these feelings, but it was impossible, a friend was not what he wanted at all! He wanted Bert to look at him the way Nathan did at Phoenix, he wanted the love they had, every last bit of it, every last kiss, every last hug, every last moment of happiness, but he knew he couldn’t have it, Bert didn’t want him, at least not the way he did, and it hurt, so so much.

Suddenly Bert shifted himself and the next thing Pete knew, he had Bert’s head rested on his shoulder and he’d put his arm around Bert tenderly. They sat there like that for a little while and Pete didn’t know it but Bert had woken up shortly after Pete’s arm had arrived around his shoulders but he was so happy to just sit here he didn’t want to ruin it, since he didn’t want to confuse Pete.

Pete was very drunk so he didn’t even notice when Bert had sat up and was staring right at him.

“LoooouP?!? Pete!!” Bert exclaimed.

“Huh! What the fuck...?” Was Pete’s highly bemused reply, he’d not even realised Bert was talking to him, “Shit...I must be really drunk...” He assumed he’d thought to himself, but had infact said this out loud.

“Yes Peter I think you are dear.” Bert said grinning sleepily at Pete, ignoring reason so he could cuddle Pete round his waist. This made Pete feel very uncomfortable even in his highly incapacitated state, but he still allowed himself to be caught in the cuddle, making no effort to escape, in fact he moved closer to Bert, and Bert snuggled his head against Pete, and they fell asleep like that.

----------------------------------------------

Quite sometime later when the sun was just starting to break over the horizon, Pete began to stir. He looked around and saw many bodies strewn across the floor like the varying carpets beneath them. But where was Bert? He certainly wasn’t where Pete had last seen him when they were cuddling contentedly on the cough.

Pete was quite upset by this and before he knew it, he’d burst into floods of tears, an over emotional state induced by the alcohol still in his system. He sat sobbing quietly for some time, none of the bodies stirring at all, till he heard the sound of footsteps and fell silent to listen to where they were coming from, he was still tired and slumped his head a little looking down at his shoes, and then pulling his knees up so he could hug himself.

“Heyy, err Pete??” It was Ryan; he’d silently made his way to Pete over all the bodies, then he realised Pete was had been the sobbing sound he’d heard and he fell to his knees so he could be level with Pete face (Yes the height difference is that big LMAO). He tilted Pete face upwards so he could see his eyes.

“Petey? What’s the matter? Why are you crying?” Ryan said almost pained by Pete’s emotional state.

“-Sob- I’m okay, really...” Pete replied sniffling and feeling a little happier now that Ryan was here.

“Yes of course you are, that’s why I could hear you sobbing from my little sleeping place on the kitchen floor.” Ryan said, climbing onto the couch and putting his arm around Pete cuddling him close to his chest.

“It’s just so so hard Ryan...I barely know you, you shouldn’t have to be looking after me.” Pete said trying to free himself of Ryan, but giving up and snuggling into his chest, hiccupping a little and stifling another sob.

“Well, maybe I want to know you Pete, maybe I want to know what is ‘so so hard’, I could help you with whatever it is, I don’t care if I only met you a few hours ago Pete, I just feel like I gotta care for you.” Ryan said giving Pete a light peck on the top of his head which made Pete giggle a little between his sobbing and hiccupping. “See, I’m making you feel better already! I don’t go to school around here, but we can still talk I’ll give you my number and my email too! You can talk to me whenever you like okay?”

“Okay...If you say so, but you don’t know what you’ve just let yourself in for, I’m a lot of hard work you know, ask anyone, in fact ask Patrick, he knows all about it.” Pete rambled quietly, his sobs fading away as a smile spread across his face, happy to know he had someone to talk to rather than always having to unload his problems onto Trick.

“Okay Pete, here’s my email and my cell, keep it safe, I better go, my roommate will be wondering where I am, I’m gona go back to my campus.” He quickly scrawled his information onto a small piece of paper he’d found in his pocket and used a small purple pen he’d pulled out of his jacket.

My email: ryrorossyboi@hotmail.com

My cell: 345-545-465-431.

Call whenever you like, I’m always here Pete.

Much luffs.

Ryro Ross. x x x

Then he hurried away after giving Pete another light peck on the head.

After Ryan was gone he read the note over and over and then clutched it close to his chest grinning to himself with his eyes closed, till he heard:

“Tink? Why are you grinning to yourself? And what’s that you’re holding?” It was Trick, and Pete couldn’t have been happier to hear the voice of his best friend.

“Triiiiiiiiiiiick!!!!!” Pete exclaimed leaping out of the chair and throwing himself at Patrick, only to fall flat on his face as he landed on one of the bodies stuck to the floor.

This received a great deal of laughter from Patrick, which earned him a playful but scowl.

“Don’t just stand there laughing! Help me up!” Pete said in a mock angry voice.

Sp Patrick pulled Pete up off the floor and allowed Pete to tell him more or less every last moment of his time at the party, right from seeing Ryan all the way to saying goodbye to him and getting his details.

“Oh yeah, I know that Ryan guy, he’s cool, he strikes me as someone you’d get on with.” Patrick answered after Pete was done rambling.

“Yeah he’s great...But, but, I still likes Berty...” Pete said his happy face falling dramatically.

“Oh dear...I was wondering when you’d say something like that, I wonder where he went...” Patrick replied putting an arm around Pete carefully as Patrick was now driving back to campus with Nathan and Phoenix sleeping in the back of the car and Ashlee nowhere to be seen.

“And Ashlee too! She just totally disappeared...” Pete said sadly, remembering how he was the one who’d left her alone.

“They’re probably just back at campus, and couldn’t be bothered to wait for a ride; they might even have gone back together, I’m sure they’re okay Tink.” Patrick answered reassuringly

Bu this didn’t really reassure Pete at all, he didn’t like the thought of Bert with Ashlee, especially if they’d gotten drunk, he got the idea that Ashlee didn’t handle her drink too well, and he knew how much of a man whore Bert was too. He sat silently wondering where all his friends were, he’d not seen Gerard or Frankie at the party, but he also vaguely remembered Frankie mentioning a cos-play picnic, and Gerard telling them he was going on a date with a cute girl.

Eventually they got to campus, at about 8am; it was so quiet they all ran inside quickly and made their way to their dormitories. One by one they were all in their rooms, and Pete and Patrick slumped onto their beds glad to be on something comfortable at last.

“I don’t feel like sleeping Trick, its breakfast soon, I’m gona get changed then head out, you can stay here if you want.” But the only answer Pete got was a loud snore, he went over to Patrick took off his hat and laid it down on the bedside table, then he covered him with his duvet and started taking off his own makeup and tight clothes.

When Pete was done changing, he quietly left the room after leaving a short note explaining where he was if Patrick woke up. Then he crept along the corridors and entered the common room, gasping when he saw Bert and Ashlee draped over one another there faces practically merging as they kissed wildly with a desperation unlike any Pete had ever seen, as Bert’s hands raked their way around her body and slid up the front of her shirt squeezing her breasts. She didn’t even try to stop him, and all Pete could do was stand and stare as he saw his good friend Ashlee and the boy he was practically in love with making out passionately, in almost the exact same spot he’d shared a kiss with Bert.

Then he let out a sob he’d been stifling, and they realised he was there, the shock in Bert’s eyes was evident, as Pete merely stared back at him with a mixture of love, hate, pain and anger.

He ran fast as his feet would carry him back to his dorm room, throwing himself into the bathroom and leaning his head over the toilet as he vomited violently, sickened by what he’d seen. It was quite some time before he realised Patrick was banging his fist off the door shouting Pete’s name in utter panic, then the banging stopped and Pete found he couldn’t be sick anymore, so he attempted to straighten up, looking around the room wildly, trying to find something to release the pain he felt, the pain that had never been as strong as it was now.

Then he saw it...A razor, a razor he used to shave his stubble every morning, it shone in the light of the overhead light, almost calling his name as he stood rooted to the spot staring at it, whilst his mind screamed at him to do it, but also screamed at him not to. He couldn’t take it, he fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably, trying to pull him up to reach out the shining beacon of release, he finally had it, he didn’t even bother to clean the razor in his hurry to free himself of a little bit of his pain.

Slashing at his left arm as he leant over the sink, he began to feel less pain in his heart and a more pleasurable pain flowing through him as he watched his red blood trickling down the sides of the white sink, he was so dazed by now that the sight of the strong contrasting colours almost seemed beautiful to him, but as always, he was brought back done to earth as suddenly the door burst off its hinges and Gerard, Patrick and Brian came flying into the room, all Pete could do was stare at them as they looked from his face to his arm, all of them widening their eyes in unison, then everything went black and it seemed all things had ended...

Everything's Magic, Chapter 2/?

2008-06-15T01:40:20Z

Title:
Chapter 2
'Yesterday's Feelings'
Author: infamous_gmo
POV: Ryan Ross
Rating: PG
Pairing: Eventual Pete/Ryan, seemingly Pete/Bert for short time, Pete/Ashlee for ever shorter time xD.
Summary: pete loves bert but bert doesn't feel the same...they have a rollercoaster relationship but pete can't help but love him till he starts to realise bert's not the only other person on the planet, infact the person who wants nothing more than to be with him and love him like he deserves is right under his very nose. It's takes a long time to get there with lots of highs and lows but eventually pete gets happiness and true love.
Disclaimer: Haha not mine, the title belongs to Angels and Airwaves, the title of chapter two belongs to the used.
Author Notes: I hope you all fall in love with it and want more, coz if I get the commentage I'll be more than happy to keep writing!!! Before anyone asks, no Brian and Zacky aren't dating in this fic.
Dedications: Trick AKA Jackie <3 She's helping me out with this.
Also my darling Shaun <3 who I couldn't have got through all the hard times without.

Bert didn't usually have the best of mornings. Whether it was Jeph and his latest girlfriend (or boyfriend but Jeph insists that was a onetime thing...) waking him up way too early, or just Jeph and his goddamn snoring. Today it was the snoring, but mixed with the hideous feeling of regret bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

He sat up aware of the darkness around him, and looked over to his alarm clock, that read an insanely early 3am. Since this regret of his was playing havoc with his sanity he thought, now at 3am, it was perfectly necessary to text Pete and ask him to meet him out in the gardens where they definitely wouldn’t be at danger of being discovered. So he texted Pete.

Hey LouP, meet me in the back gardens by the fountain in 10 minutes ok? I need to talk to you Pete.

Love ya.

x x x

He hesitated as he typed ‘Love ya. x x x’ fearing it would give Pete a false sense of security on what they needed to talk about.

-------------------------------------------

Bzz bzz

Pete phone buzzed at him in an annoying manner, much to his discontent as her discovered it was 3.05am, but when he saw who it was and what it said his little face lit up with glee.

He carefully slipped out of bed, making sure not to wake Patrick, so as to save himself any awkward questions that would surely follow him when Patrick eventually awoke.

Pete put on his slippers, and purple hoody, carefully locked the door behind him, and set down the corridor running as quickly and quietly as possible to reach Bert.

Finally he was outside and the pleasant early morning breeze hit his face cooling him, and relaxing any nerves he’d felt at seeing Bert after the previous nights events. He bounded over to the fountain where Bert sat with a deeply sombre expression on his pale tired face; even now Pete thought he looked as handsome as ever, even if few others thought so.

“Hi Pete, come, sit.” Bert beckoned, placing his palm where he wanted Pete to sit.

“Hi Bert, is everything ok?” Pete asked shyly, wondering if Bert noticed how close his hand was to the elder mans own.

“We need to talk...” Bert said sounding almost upset, the truth was what he’d done made him almost feel sick, but he tried to suppress the urge to get up and run, never looking back.

“Ok...” Pete replied, shaking slightly with nerves and also feeling slightly sick now, as he always did in particularly nerve racking situations.

“I know you like me.” Bert began “And I know this must be hard for you Pete, especially the fear of losing me as a friend, but you should know I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. But, I will apologise for last night, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry Pete, are you ok?” Bert finally ended, after what seemed like an eternity for Pete who now sat head bowed, eyes cast downward.

“I- I hoped, so much, that that kiss was for real...But I understand...you don’t want me...not like that.” Pete managed to stutter out slowly having to catch his breath more than once at this sad realisation. He had to stay realistic.

Bert could see all the pain in Pete’s hazel eyes as he watched and he knew this was breaking his little heart, shattering it into little star shaped pieces.

He carefully placed his arm over the younger man’s shoulder, and Pete didn’t object in the slightest, he simply slipped his head into the crook of Bert’s comforting arm. He knew in his heart, that as long as Bert was still there, and he’d not lost him as a friend, he might just be able to handle this, just.

-----------------------------------------------

“Pete...?” Patrick said quietly, as he woke from his deep sleep, barely remembering the night before, except for the little bomb shell Pete had dropped on him.

“Pete!?” He said louder as he realised Pete was shaking, sitting on his bed with his head down, little drops of water trickling from his eyes.

Pete let out a single sob, but that was enough for Patrick to have dived out of bed, and onto Patrick’s bed to see what the matter was. It was the saddest thing he’d ever seen, his best friend utterly broken.

“B- Bert texted me this morning, t- telling me to meet him...h- he doesn’t want me...” Pete trailed off sobbing harder and shaking violently.

“Ssssh, don’t cry Tink, please don’t cry.” Patrick said as he hugged his dear friend tightly.

“He said he’d always be there for me...but that he regretted the kiss...” This last part, was where Pete suddenly became silent and totally still, trying as hard as he could to gather up all his strength and shove down the terrible pain that was breaking his heart.

“I guess I’ll be ok.” Pete said in his cheeriest voice, totally fooling Patrick.

“Well I’m glad Tink; please don’t waste your tears on him. He’s not worth it.” Patrick replied smiling at the sudden change in Pete’s mood.

Pete returned the smile, but inside he wanted nothing more than to shout and make a scene, and say that Bert was worth it, he was more than worth it, and it was hurting him so much.

Pete and Patrick dressed and got ready for the day ahead in silence, then headed for breakfast.

Breakfast was a quiet affair, everyone too tired to make conversation, so Pete, Patrick, Brian, Phoenix, now accompanied by Nathan, Zack, Gerard and Frank sat silently eating the various foods on their plates.

Then Bert arrived, alone. Gerard kept his eyes to his plate, staring at it as if it were truly fascinating, Frank coughed and sniggered quietly. It was Phoenix who thankfully broke the silence.

“Hi Bert, how are you this morning?” She said cheerily, grinning at him as Nathan’s grip on her waist tightened slightly, he was a tad possessive, but he smiled at Bert all the same.

“I’m ok...Tired.” He said his eyes lingering on Pete as he glanced at them all one by one.

Pete sat silently picking at his food, barely touching it at all. He felt like he may be sick if he ate this morning, and Bert seemed to have this feeling too, mostly due to the guilt. Gerard’s eyes lifted, giving Pete a deeply concerned look, and frowning slightly.

“Pete...?” Gerard began.

But Patrick waved a hand at him, indicating he shouldn’t continue. Gerard wasn’t the only one who was worried, they all were, normally if Pete saw Bert his little face would light up and he jump out of his chair and hug Bert tightly, but today he merely sat in silence ignoring everyone, not a smile to be seen on his usually cheery face.

Bert slipped into a chair just in front of Pete, careful not to catch his eye, because he was so afraid of what he might see in those eyes. He had to make things up with Pete, he just had to, he didn’t care if Pete told him to go away, and he needed to make Pete happy again.

They all continued in silence as they had been before Bert’s arrival, then one by one each of them said goodbye and headed off to their first lesson; for Pete that would be IT, perfect excuse to laze around and talk to Patrick, Pete really couldn’t hack much hard work today, not after the little sleep he’d gotten. He was glad he had a free period right after break...

But Bert did too, he knew he couldn’t avoid him forever; maybe he’d just try his best to get back to normal, who knows maybe this would be ok after all.

Pete hurried to IT without touching a single spoon of cereal from his bowl, this made Patrick worry, he knew Pete didn’t deal with stress well, he knew Pete could go without food for days and it scared him, and he knew Pete had bad ways of dealing with stress...

“How are you feeling Pete?” Patrick asked looking at Pete carefully.

“I’m ok.” Pete replied revealing no feeling in his tone at all, he was trying to forget, trying to make everything seem normal again, maybe he could just pretend everything was like it was before.

“Are you really Pete, locking it up inside won’t make things better, it’ll make it worse, please Pete, talk to me...” Patrick practically begged.

“Patrick! I’M FINE NOW LEAVE ME ALONE SO I CAN GET SOME DAMN WORK DONE!” Pete exploded, surprised by the sudden burst of anger he felt inside himself.

Patrick didn’t bother him for the rest of the lesson, in fact for the rest of the day he was very quiet, watching Pete, worried in case the ticking time bomb would go off at any moment.

At last the last lesson came, it was English, again.

“Hi Pete.” Ashlee said smiling at Pete. “Do you mind if I sit here? The girl you sit with hasn’t come in today.”

“Yeah! Sure Ashlee!” Pete said grinning, he didn’t talk to her much, but Ashlee was a nice girl, maybe she’d brighten his day a little.

Mr Leto entered the room quickly, greeted the class and set them their assignments.

Partner work.

Normally Pete would have worked with Brian, but he felt like he needed to talk to someone who didn’t keep glancing at him, even if it was out of concern.

“So, how are things Pete?” Ashlee asked.

“They’re alright, just bit stressed out you know...” Pete said drifting off at the end of his sentence.

“Yeah, aren’t we all, hey are you coming to the party on Saturday? You know Brian’s party?” She asked smiling at him.

“Yeah, I’ll probably go with Patrick and...Err, maybe Bert.” He replied taking a deep breath.

“That’s cool, are you ok?” She said looking concerned at the dark look on his face.

“Yes, I-I’m fine...” He said, grinning at her with his bravest face.

They worked quietly for the rest of the lesson, not mentioning Pete’s moment of darkness. Pete enjoyed working with her, it was a nice change, he could talk about totally ordinary things like homework or plans for holidays with her, without it turning into some sort of talk about how hot some girl is, like it would have had he been working with Brian.

Finally the bell rang and Pete was free to leave the prison of a classroom.

“So I guess I’ll see you around Pete?” Ashlee said smiling a smile Pete had never realised was so irresistible, he was transfixed by it.

“Yeah, I’ll see you at the party.” He replied grinning mildly and feeling somewhat elated by the pleasant lesson he’d just had, and then something burst his bubble.

“Hey Pete! What’s going on with you and that Ashlee chick?” Brian asked nudging Pete suggestively.

“Nothing. She’s just a friend, we were only talking...” Pete replied glaring slightly at his friend. Sometimes Brian really irritated him, he didn’t really see it being possible to have girls as friends.

Pete escaped back to his dorm room before anyone else managed to harass him, and he was glad to find that Pete wasn’t back yet. He slipped into the bathroom and splashed some cold water on his face, suddenly feeling horribly tired out from all of today’s events. He wasn’t just tired, he was upset, angry, and totally exhausted beyond what he’d quite realised, and now it was hitting him harder than ever.

He kept telling himself he’d be ok, but now he just felt more unhappy than he’d ever felt and he was quite stunned by it. He sighed deeply as he slipped back into his room which was still empty, so he lay on his bed and shut his eyes hoping to find sleep as his solace.

----------------------------------------------

“Pete! Pete!” Patrick shouted from a distance.

“Whaa...” Pete said in a muffled voice, as he suddenly realised Patrick was standing over him shaking him and calling his name.

“Pete! I’ve been trying to wake you for ages; I thought something was really wrong! It’s Saturday morning, come on, time for breakfast, you need to eat, you slept straight through dinner last night.”

“No, I’m not hungry, you go and eat I’ll come down later, ok?” Pete said between the sudden coughing fit he’d now been overcome by.

He sat coughing for some time; he was going to be sick.

He ran to the bathroom and stuck his head close by the toilet; Patrick looked terrified as Pete threw up nothing but water and some remnants of his pizza from the night before last.

“Really now Pete, try and tell me you’re not hungry, please eat something you didn’t eat all day yesterday. Please Pete.” Patrick pleaded

“NO!” Pete roared “Please, leave, me, alone.” He said a little quieter, slumping onto the floor and pressing his head to his knees. “GO!”

Once Patrick was gone he dissolved into heart wrenching sobs as tears fell from his eyes, he had no idea where it was coming from, but suddenly he was crying and he couldn’t stop, he felt worthless.

Then the sickly feeling returned and he sat up to heave his head over the toilet seat once again, this time however he wasn’t bringing anything up at all, he merely heaved and heaved. After sometime when his throat was sore and he could no longer bare it, he crawled into his room and managed to clamber into bed.

-----------------------------------------------

He eventually did wake up at around 2pm, feeling much better, infact he now felt he had a new found sense of purpose, and he was going to enjoy the party later, and enjoy it a lot.

He began going through his clothes until he pulled out his tightest electric blue jeans, and a red studded belt, after diving into his clothes again; he pulled out a purple hoody and a red t-shirt with ‘Single’ emblazed across the front in bold black lettering. He really was going to enjoy this party, he decided he’d go and have a refreshing shower, and take his time getting ready, then go and find Patrick and the other guys, once he’d carefully traced black eyeliner around his hazel eyes.

He stepped in front of the full length mirror to admire his work, and was highly pleased by what he saw, he noticed some bags around his eyes and a little hollowness in his cheeks, but he thought he looked quite good, infact very good.

Slipping his favourite black vans onto his feet, he left his room shutting the door behind him quietly. “They must be in the common room...” He thought to himself.

Just as he thought they were all gathered there when he arrived, almost all of them fell silent when he entered; he guessed Patrick had told them what had happened.

But he was wrong.

“Oh wow...” Bert said quietly absorbing the appearance of the shorter, younger man that stood before him. Pete looked good, really good, and Bert had to gulp slightly before speaking to him directly.

“You look really cool Pete.” Ashlee said grinning one of her bright cheery smiles at him.

He’d not even noticed she was there until she had spoken, she was sitting by Patrick and Bert, and they’d all been talking amongst themselves until Pete had arrived.

Even Patrick was a bit shocked when he saw Pete strutting over to him and sitting himself down heavily next to Ashlee.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Pete said cooly, giving Ashlee a wink and colliding fists with Patrick like the gangster’s that they are. “Soo are we heading over to Brian’s now then?? Don’t wana miss out on the fun do we?” He said grinning broadly at Ashlee and Patrick, hardly acknowledging Bert at all.

So they all headed out of the common room and eventually found Patrick’s car parked up outside.

“Sorry Bert...” Patrick said. “I promised Ash I’d take her with us, there’s not enough room for you, Pete and Ashlee, and we’re picking up Phoenix and Nathan too.”

“Oh...ok I’ll just go get a ride from one of the other guys then...” Bert replied glancing over at Pete, receiving a dirty look and then averting his eyes to his shoes. “I’ll just go...”

“Yeah whatever bye.” Pete said coldly.

Once Bert was out of ear shot and Ashlee was in the car, Patrick pulled Pete over to the edge of the car. “There’s no need to be like that dude.” Patrick said trying to be as delicate as possible.

“Ok whatever Patrick I just wana go party his face outta my head.” Pete replied.

“Fine, if you’re sure...” Patrick said with his voice laden with concern.

And so they drove off out of the campus with Phoenix and Nathan now in tow, Pete was ready to party, like he’d never done before, and he knew he’d regret every last second in the morning, but as he sat with his arm draped over Ashlee’s shoulder, it all seemed like he could forget Bert so so easily.

But could Bert forget him...

'Everything's Magic' chapter 1/?

2008-01-20T19:08:07Z

Title:
Chapter 1:

‘Seize the Day’

Author: infamous_gmo

POV: ?

Rating: PG

Pairing: Eventual Pete/Ryan, seemingly Pete/Bert for short time, Pete/Ashlee for ever shorter time xD.

Summary: pete loves bert but bert doesn't feel the same...they have a rollercoaster relationship but pete can't help but love him till he starts to realise bert's not the only other person on the planet, infact the person who wants nothing more than to be with him and love him like he deserves is right under his very nose. It's takes a long time to get there with lots of highs and lows but eventually pete gets happiness and true love.

Disclaimer: Haha not mine, the title belongs to Angels and Airwaves, the title of chapter one belongs to Avenged Sevenfold.

Author Notes: I hope you all fall in love with it and want more, coz if I get the commentage I'll be more than happy to keep writing!!! Before anyone asks, no Brian and Zacky aren't dating in this fic.

Dedications: Trick AKA Jackie <3 She's helping me out with this.
Also my darling Shaun <3 who I couldn't have got through all the hard times without.

Hey Trick, J wotcha doin on Saturday??? Wana go to Brian’s party? : P could be fun?

Pete wrote, delicately folding his quickly scrawled note to his best friend Patrick, and looking around before slipping it to the girl sitting behind him.

“Make sure it gets to Patrick, k?” Pete whispered to Ashlee, the blonde that he’d always found somewhat attractive but chose to not do anything about it, deciding girls weren’t really worth his trouble.

Recently there seemed to be more...guys who were taking his fancy, for example the lean, lightly tanned Brian, who sat beside him in English and had just invited him to his house party, whilst his ‘folks’ were out of town. Pete was also having a small problem concerning his good friend Bert, which he needed to discuss with his most trustworthy friend, Patrick, or as Pete liked to call him ‘Trick’.

Pete sat staring at the clock willing the time to go faster or for his dreaded English teacher Mr Leto to disappear. Normally the class didn’t mind their teacher but today something seemed to have pissed him off and now they were all working in a painful silence. He felt a small tugging on his shoulder, and turned his head slightly to see Ashlee shoving a small piece of paper at him.

“Thanks.” Pete whispered, flashing her one of his most winning smiles, all white toothed and sparkly eyed. This made her blush violently but by this time Pete had already swung back around and buried his head in the newly received note.

It read:

Sure Tink, I’d love to Brian’s cool J you said you wanted to talk about something, but you didn’t finish, wana---

Pete was cut off from his reading as the loud bell rang, commencing freedom, it was the end of the day. “At last...” Pete thought to himself letting out a deep sigh of relief “I better talk to Trick now.” Pete gulped, before spotting Patrick waving and grinning at him, “COME ON PETE!” Patrick shouted over, causing Pete to jump and run over quickly.

“You said you wanted to talk, remember?” Patrick asked.

“Oh yeah, come on lets head back to the dorms Trick, we’ll talk there. Too many ears here...” Pete said muttering the last part.

-------------------------------------------------

“So, what’s up Tink?” Patrick said grinning at Pete from his bed, whilst fiddling with his phone.

“Trick, put the phone down for a sec, please.” Pete said quite sternly

“Umm, ok...Is everything ok Tink?”

“Well, ummm, how do I put this? You know Bert...Of course you know Bert, silly question. I, I think, maybe, just maybe I’m starting to...like him, quite a lot” Pete finished, with a small breath of relief after the difficulty of saying such a sentence aloud.

“Jeez Pete, you had me thinking it was something serious...It’s only Bert, I’m sure it’ll blow over Tink, he’s a close friend of yours, real close. Don’t worry yourself too much.” Patrick replied slipping quietly over to Pete’s bed, where Pete was currently sitting hunched over, legs crossed, with his head in his hands, he looked up.

“Yeah, I am worrying, I’m worrying constantly Patrick! I think about him...so so much and I just don’t know what to do! It’s like yeah, I’ll admit I think loads of guys are attractive like, Brian, he’s so fit! But I don’t think about him, like I do Bert.”

“Whenever we’re hanging out I feel so possessive over him, you must’ve noticed! And I feel like I’m on a high when I’m near him, I just get such a rush. He’s such a, such a...in the weirdest way, a beautiful person Trick. I mean he’s so fascinating...His tattoos, I could just stare at those all freaking day, tracing them with my fingers each and every line and bit of colour carefully inked into that skin...” Pete trailed off staring into space.

Patrick had never seen Pete like this, it was as if the Pete he knew had been transported to an alternate universe and sent back as some little loved up puppy dog.

“Well...I don’t know what to say Tink...I’m not so great with this kind of thing, you know me, and I just drift along bypassing all the interesting affects of rushing teenage hormones. I know you two are close, and yeah you’re attached to each other most of the time, it’s kind of cute actually.” Patrick chuckled.

Pete glared mockingly before tossing a cushion in Patrick’s face.

“Damn you Stump! Why oh why can’t I be like you? You don’t fall for girls...or guys like I do! GAH!” Pete exclaimed in frustration.

At this, Pete slopped onto his back with a cushion covering his bright red face. Patrick sit at the end of the bed chuckling to himself for a fair while, before Pete suddenly bolted up, springing into action off of the bed.

“How about we head call out for some pizza Trick? Grab the guys, Gerard, Frankie and like Brian, Zack, and Bert or something? Get a couple of drinks and sit in the common room and hang. What do you say Trick?”

“Yeah that sounds great Tink!” Patrick grinned and slapped a hand on Pete back, “I’m glad you’ve got your little buzz back, it weird’s me out when you act serious.”

“Ahem, I can be serious sometimes you know, I guess it’s that little emo inside of me trying to break out.” Pete replied before bursting out of the room and leaving an amused and bemused Patrick in his wake.

“I guess he’s gone to Bert and Jeph’s room then...” Patrick said quietly to himself “Oh I hope he doesn’t do anything silly...Bert’s not good news...”

--------------------------------------------------

“Hiiiiiiiii!!!” Pete exclaimed exploding into the dorm room of Bert and Jeph. “Wana order some PIZZA?!” Pete giggled pouncing onto Bert’s bed curling up to him, whilst Jeph just sat looking slightly amused by Pete’s display of affection as he planted a sloppy kiss on Bert’s cheek.

“Yeah sure, that sounds great Loupe!” This was the very odd name Bert had come up with for Pete after having discovered one of Pete’s many middle names was Louis. For a little while (a few minutes...) it had gotten on Pete nerves, but just like everything else Bert said or did, he was okay with it.

“What about you Jeph? Wana come hang with us?” Pete asked grinning as Bert cuddled him.

“Err no thanks, I’m gona go find my chick and like...get high...” Jeph was high most of the time, Bert dabbled but not often, and Pete well he didn’t touch the stuff.

Bert and Pete had only been friends a few months since Pete had met the older, very affectionate Bert McCracken. Bert was only a mere year older than the 18 year old Pete, but he seemed like he was so much older, he’d been through a lot, and Pete admired him for his strength when things got hard. But Pete had come to admire more than Bert’s strength, he thought about him a lot more than he’d ever done about anyone, even when he had his crush on Brian it’d not been this much. Bert wasn’t the most gorgeous man in the world but, he was a beautiful person, he had a good soul.

“Hi guys!” Patrick said slipping into the room quietly and almost unnoticed to the cuddling couple of Pete and Bert.

“Ewo Triiick!!!” Pete said grinning at his best friend broadly, this made Patrick laugh, which just earned him an odd look from Jeph and not much from Bert who was too busy listening to Pete rant about the plans of the evening.

“...Yes so I’m gona go get Gee and Frank, and Brian oooh, and Zack too! It’ll be really fun!!!” Pete said animatedly.

“That sounds just great Loupe, you be a good boy and go do that then” Bert said absentmindedly stroking Pete’s hair.

By now Jeph was close to gagging at his roommate and his friend’s overt displays of affection. “I’m going out, don’t wait up Bert...” Jeph muttered.

“...you two should just go out, it’s so totally obvious you guys like each other.” He yawned and left the room with silence.

“Err, come on you guys, let’s go get the others, come on Trick we’ll get Frank and Gee, Bert do you mind getting Brian and Zack?” Patrick ended the silence.

“Yeah I’ll go get those guys.” Bert replied not having reacted at all to Jeph’s sudden small outburst.

Pete could hardly look Bert in the eye, his face was so red and Patrick grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the room quickly. They stopped a few doors before Gerard and Frank’s room.

“Hey...Tink, are you umm okay?” Patrick asked looking concerned at the red faced wide eyed Pete.

“Hmm, yeah I’m fine, yeah...HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SAY THAT.” Pete suddenly shouted causing Patrick to jump out of his skin.

“Calm down Tink, Bert didn’t even react I’m sure he knows Jeph’s just being his usual weird self, don’t worry, really.” Patrick said comfortingly.

“Thanks Trick.” Pete said hugging his best friend.

They walked to Frank and Gerard’s door silently, and it was Pete who decided to knock for the two guys.

“Geraaaard!!!” Pete squealed hugging the taller man around the waist.

“Heyyy Pete” He said grinning returning the force of the smaller man’s hug.

“Hi Patrick!” Gerard added noticing the grin spreading across Patrick’s face.

Once they’d all exchanged hugs, Pete and Patrick entered the mysterious dorm room of Gerard Way and Frank Iero.

Frank was sprawled across his blue bed sheet as the three men entered the room; he flipped over onto his back.

“Yo Pete, Yo Trickster!” He said getting up to receive a tight hug from Pete and a normal person hug from Patrick.

“So what are you two here for then?” Gerard asked, sitting on his bed cross legged whilst Pete grinned at him from ear to ear, quite unnervingly.

“Well Pete and I wanted to know if you guys wanted to join, us along with Bert, Brian and Zack, we’re gona order a pizza and have some beers or something you know.” Patrick said calmly whilst Pete sat buzzing beside him.

“Yeah sure, what about you Frank?” Gerard asked

“Sounds cool to me, lemme just fix my hair and grab my hoody.” He replied, giving Pete an odd look.

They all sat in silence whilst Frank pottered around looking for his hoody, Pete had stopped buzzing and staring at Gerard, but had instead resigned himself to fiddling with the hem of his black t-shirt.

Once Frank was ready the four guys left the room and headed to the common room, where they found Bert, Brian and Zack already seated. Bert was sitting silently texting on his phone whilst Brian and Zack spoke quietly about the upcoming party.

“S’up peeps.” Frank called out to the three guys before doing a forward roll onto a couch, rather like a ninja, and sat cross legged with a cool expression.

“Hey Frank.” They all said in unison.

Then they greeted the others and Pete happily bounced onto a seat just beside Bert.

The guys talked, drank and generally goofed off for hours; it was only when Bert was offended by something Gerard said about Jeph that there seemed to be trouble brewing...

“The guy just does nothing, except get high and sleep around...I’d never get away with going around like that even if I was the single year older that you guys are.” Gerard said after Bert had mentioned why Jeph wasn’t there when Brian had asked.

“Don’t you bad mouth him like that Gerard! We all know you’re no angel yourself!” Bert retorted.

Slightly deterred Gerard replied, “Yeah well I’ve sorted myself out, and I’ve worked hard to get to where I am now Bert. But then again what do you do around here? Last I hear you’d tried to get off with some guys girl, and she knocked you back did she? Take a look in the mirror McCracken before you go around throwing the past back in my face, cause it’s the past and nothing more but people like you and Jeph are still being nothing more than...Cheap.”

Bert looked stung by this and his face and body radiated anger in waves at Gerard, but it was a surprise arrival that calmed the death like atmosphere.

“Hi guys! No one told me there was a little party going on, I thought that was Saturday!” Phoenix said grinning as she skipped across the room to a now smiling Pete.

“Phoenix babe! How’s it going?” Pete asked beaming at his good friend Phoenix. “No Nathan?”

“Nah, he’s being Mr Dullsville and studying.” She said this with a grimace before breaking into a smile beaming at everyone in the room before pouncing on Gerard and Frank.

“Gee Gee and Frankikins!!!” She squealed at the two young men hugging them tightly.

Phoenix was a widely known character, mostly because of her ever changing hair colour and funny way. At the moment her hair was a luminous shade of pink with strategically places red and purple streaks, only a girl with such a character as hers could have pulled off her look.

Today she wore red skinny jeans and a tight black tank top with the words ‘Cyber Nerd’ scrawled across the front in blood red. Everyone loved in the school loved her, and wherever she went you could hear people saying hi to her and waving at her. Guys wanted her to be theirs (But Nathan was the lucky one that claimed this beauty) and girls wanted to be her, but she was loved nether the less.

“Hey you guys got any pizza left for my lady friend?” Pete asked with an arm across Phoenix’s shoulder and Bert’s arm wrapped around his waist. It was a picture that certainly would appear humorous to an outsider.

“Yeah I think so.” Frank replied before pulling a pizza slice out of the box and handing it to her.

These guys were the few that didn’t just want her for a girlfriend; she was like the little sister none of them were lucky enough to get, and since she had no family here they were her family.

After a few hours more of tomfoolery they decided to call it a night especially since they still had school tomorrow. One by one the guys and girl said their goodbyes and drifted off to their dorm rooms.

Finally it was just Bert, Patrick and Pete left in the now quiet dorm room.

“Hey Trick, would you mind heading back to the dorm room, I’ll catch up ok?” Pete muttered quietly to Patrick.

“Well guys I’m gona head off, I’ll see you in our room, yeah Pete?” Patrick said convincingly.

“Yeah sure, see ya there Trick.” Pete replied pleased at his friend’s loyalty.

Then Patrick was gone, and it was just Bert and Pete left sitting in the dimly lit common room, both sleepy from all the fun.

“That was nice wasn’t it Pete?” Bert asked grinning softly at Pete.

“Yeah, it really was actually...” Pete replied trailing off.

“Pete, is there anything on your mind?” Bert said looking slightly concerned at Pete suddenly less spirited expression and the deep sigh he heaved.

“I- I, need to errm talk to you...” Pete said gulping.

“Ssssh...” Was the reply Pete received before Bert slowly leaned closer to his face, Pete heart was pounding so fast he thought it was about to burst out through his ribs.

Then their lips met, and it was as if time had stopped, it was the electricity between them that shocked Pete into action as he kissed Bert back with all the force he could muster.

Bert was ignoring the voice in his head that told him what he was doing was so wrong it was unbelievable, he just wanted a bit of love and it seemed Pete could be the one that gave him it, he’d always suspected Pete had feeling for him, just from the way Pete’s eyes seemed to light up whenever he was near, and the constant excuses Pete gave to get Bert to spend as much time with him as he could.

Then their lips parted and the air around them almost crackled with the sheer electricity of the moment passed.

“I- I’ll see you tomorrow ok Pete?” Bert said looking at Pete in a way Pete had never seen him do so before, it was almost with fear.

“Yeah...” Was all Pete could manage the next few moments passed in a blur as Pete dreamily made his way back to his dorm room, where he found Patrick sitting silently on his bed, staring at Pete suspiciously.

“What happened?” Patrick asked in a whisper, it was obvious something had gone on from the way Pete’s face blushed, and his eyes sparkled in a way Patrick had never seen before.

“We kissed...” Pete answered, before diving under his duvet and instantly falling asleep, where he met a world of joyful dreams of love and happiness.

But how would they feel in the morning?

A colourful poem <3 =]

2007-12-05T18:50:52Z

Colour me in black+purple,
Then tell me I'm blue like a whirlpool.
Colour my tears baby blue,
Then make sure I keep falling for you <3
Colour my lips a rude ruby red,
Then tell me you're not making me lose me head.
Colour my eyes grey as the ground,
Then tell me you fixed my heart,
Coz it was in lost and found <3
Colour my nails a garish green,
Then let me giggle and tell you you're mean! =]
Colour my cheeks pretty in pink,
Then hold me tight and we'll just listen to our heart beats link.
I could be all the colours of the bestest rainbow,
But nothing else could make me feel the same though,
Coz what we got is strong rain or shine,
And forever and ever you'll always be mine. <3

Hehe, I'd been writing bits of this for days, then all of a sudden in a science lesson it all came together <3

Tis most pwettyful! <3

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Cracks

2007-11-20T20:57:38Z

Title: Cracks
Author: infamous_gmo
Rating: PG-13(kind of...)
Pairing: Rydon, frank-Mikey, Petrick, possible Frank-Ryan if the story continues.
POV: ?
Summary: The general plot is we've got Ryan Ross (-grins-) and of course none other than the great Brendon Urie in a happy relationship without a care in the world, they're both as happy as can be, till Halloween comes round and Ryan starts to feel cracks in his feelings for Brendon widen to the furthest they've ever gone, and he sure is tempted...
Disclaimer: Not true at all...in terms of these characters...
Author Notes: I don't right much fan-fic and it takes me a long time to do, but I may just give this spur of the moment idea more than a one shot storyline =] I may continue this if I have time lol oh and of course if it is well liked =]]]
--------------------

The tale begins on October 27th, at 3am Ryan's on the phone so his close friend Pete (Wentz, of course) talking about these...cracks...

"Maaaan, tonight was a fab night wasn't it Ryro?!" Pete said grinning fondly as he remembered the amazing night of partying he'd just got home from an hour previous. "I know you're not such a big fan of the ladies but you gotta admit some of them were pretty hot tonight! But obviously not as hot as my Patrick."

"Yeah...I guess..." Ryan replied half-heartedly, and Pete was not stupid enough to not notice the down tone of the normally bright cheery Ryan Ross.

"Ryro dude, what's up? You spent most of the night skulking in the corner, normally you couldn't look happier wrapped in Brendon's arms. What's on your mind? Is it Frank again? Coz I may have been partying, but I noticed the glares you were shooting at him and Mikey."

At this point Ryan became very uncomfortable, and was glad they were talking over the phone, so Pete couldn't see his glowering red face and bloodshot eyes, from lack of sleep at the worry of these haunting feelings that had been plaguing him since he'd seen Frank for the first time in nearly a year a few weeks back now. He'd toss and turn in his bed every night contemplating how Brendon, the only guy he'd ever really loved would feel if he knew he was having these cruel feelings for someone else. At first he didn't see it as anything to worry about, but every time he saw him with Mikey, even if he was with Brendon, he'd get these pangs of jealousy and either have to leave or would just end up acting like an utter idiot out of nerves.

"Ok, I'll admit it, some of the feelings I used to have for him...have re-manifested themselves, I guess it all started back in September when we all had that night out, and I hadn't seen him in such a long time. But I love Brendon more than life itself, and I know none of this 'thing' I've got for Frank can change that."

Pete sighed, looking over at Patrick lovingly, before gathering his next words. "Well, I'm sure it'll pass soon pal, try not to get to down about it, anyway, I'm feeling pretty tired out, Patrick's looking darn cute sleeping in our double bed, so I think I'm gonna call it a night. Really Ryan, don't worry about it all." Pete yawned. "Night Ryan."

"K, night Pete, I guess you're right, Brenny's out cold so I might as well go keep him warm." Ryan smiled and felt a little elated as he put down the receiver and clambered into bed, lying by Brendon's side suddenly feeling safe and warm, as Brendon rolled over and wrapped his long arms around the skinny body of Ryan.

"Where were you Ryro? I missed you..." He whispered in Ryan's ear before drifting off.

Ryan sighed deeply, "Just making sense of the cracks..."

-----------------------------

"Morning, hun! Did you sleep ok?" Brendon said cheerfully wrapping his arms around the slender waist of a sleepy Ryan.

"Yeah..." Ryan mumbled pecking Brendon on the cheek before stumbling to the bathroom to have a long hot shower.

Brendon looked pretty disappointed, this wasn't the usual reception he got from Ryan, normally there were warm kisses and a long embrace before Ryan headed off to the bathroom. Brendon sighed, Ryan had been acting oddly cold for a few weeks now, and he was worried about him. He knew Ryan loved him, but this was just weird...Ryan had changed, he'd been spending more time in their room, or would just sit in the living room on the couch reading books or on the laptop, or on the phone, or listening to music...The list of things he'd do other than spend time with him was endless. He'd tried questioning him about it, but that hadn't gone so well, so he left it. The weird thing was he kept refusing to go out with him and they're friends, especially if Frank and Mikey were there. If it was Brendon, Pete, Patrick, and the other guys from Panic! and Fall Out Boy, even some My Chem guys, it'd be fine, but if it was Frank and Mikey he'd get uptight and make an excuse, like ‘Oh not tonight, I've got so many lyrics to type up...’ Or ‘No I'm tired I'm not feeling up to it...’

Frankly, Brendon was tired of it, he felt neglected. last night had been great, sitting with Ryan in his arms, but he just felt like Ryan's head was somewhere else, definitely not there on the couch they'd squeezed themselves onto.

------------------------

"Why do I always fall so damn fast..." Ryan thought to himself angrily as he let the hot water wash over his tired worn out body. He'd not slept a wink again as he recalled his behaviour from the previous night. He'd acted like an asshole, he'd ignored Brendon all night, even thought he was sat in his warm arms. He felt like such a bastard treating Brendon like this, but the way he was feeling about himself right now was having a very outward effect on his behaviour, even to the ones he loved.

He knew he didn't really love Frank, that it was just a strong crush like he'd had before when he first met Frank nearly 2 years before. But he was with Brendon now, and he knew thinking about someone else like this was wrong. Really it was the thought of the fact Mikey, who he'd always been good friends with, had Frank and he didn't, even thought he'd tried so darn hard to get him, and he thought so many times he was close, but never did he quite hit the mark...

But when he did hang out with Frank he got this feeling like he was just gonna explode...he didn't quite know what it was, he couldn't describe it, all he did know was it made him shake and when Frank was gone he'd buzz and bop and stutter wildly for up to 30 minutes after he'd gone. Brendon would just put it down to his usual permanent hyper persona.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds allowing his mind to drift off to a more relaxing place. Frank was in this place, standing right in front of him getting closer and closer till it felt so real he thought he could feel Frank's breath on his face. Next thing he knew this imaginary Frank was kissing him and moving his hands all across Ryan's slender body. Suddenly Ryan felt a strong feeling of pleasure and this shock snapped him out of his day dream. He looked down to realise he'd just started wanking himself off to a day dream about Frank!

‘What the heck is wrong with me?!?!?!! I can't believe I just started doing that...I need Brendon and I need him now...’ Ryan thought to himself slightly traumatised by this sudden burst of hornyness.

He got out of that shower dried himself off and went hunting round the house for Brendon. It didn't take long for him to find what he was looking for.

"Brendon?"

"Yes Ryan..." Brendon replied turning to find Ryan right behind him. Quickly Ryan pulled Brendon up into a tight kiss, as if his life depended on it. He paused and pulled away.

"Brendon, I'm so sorry about how I've been acting...I've just...had things on my mind, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you."

It was that very last sentence that had Brendon sold, with one hand he pulled Ryan's neck towards him into a kiss, and with the other he held Ryan's waist tightly allowing all the longing and love he'd been holding in for all this time to pour into that kiss. That soft gratifying moan from Ryan’s lips was all he needed to hear and they were up against a nearby wall, Brendon’s hands on Ryan’s back, loosing himself in that electric feeling of skin under his fingers. He could never stay mad at Ryan.

“You seem shaken Ryro…” Brendon said, noticing the way his face gave the impression of not being all there.

“I…” Ryan began, then faltered and smiled at Brendon, that gorgeous winning smile that won Brendon over from the first time they met. “I just realised what a dick I’d been,” Ryan continued, mentally kicking himself for his choice of words. “I’ll stop ignoring you, stop avoiding you and I’ll stop being so detached I promise. I’ve missed you Bren…”

‘You didn’t miss him for those few minutes in the shower Ryan…’ his mind taunted him but Ryan forced that thought to the back of his mind with all of his willpower. He held Brendon tight and they just stood there against the wall. He was determined to fill in these cracks.

'Ice cream is the way to a young man’s heart'

2007-10-13T20:38:03Z

Here's my Petrick =]
I put it up on the community page but not on here =]
Hope u like it =]

Ice cream is the way to a young man’s heart

Chapter 1

Pete was a spunky kid, the new boy in town, just moved to London from America. Away from all his old friends, he was feeling pretty alone, he just didn’t seem to be fitting in. The only friend he did have was his new friend, Lou. She’d been there for him since the very first day he’d moved to the new school, and was always great for confiding his problems and insecurities to. She was his best friend, and he felt much more comfortable with her than any of the girls he had known before. He’d had some girlfriends in the past, although nothing serious; after all he was only 14. He was pretty sure he was straight.
Until he met Patrick. The ice-cream man.
Patrick was a 20 year-old guy, just left home, and had hit on some hard times, until he met Gerard, who’d given him a job as an ice-cream man. He loved what he did and even if the pay wasn’t much, it was enough. It was also pretty inconspicuous, which suited Patrick’s rather shy personality just fine. He’d always been a little unsure of his sexuality, especially since he’d had a little crush on his boss. He’d had girlfriends, but they’d never given him what he needed, what he wanted.
Then he met Pete.
“What…Can I get for you?” Patrick asked turning to face the boy who now stood before him. A little more than 5ft tall, with jet black hair and hazelish eyes, carefully rimmed with eyeliner. Slowly, Patrick took in this sight, every last detail absorbed.
“Err…Hello?” The hazel eyed boy said, in a heavy American accent.
“Oh gosh!” Patrick spluttered, “I’m so sorry, what was it you asked for?”
“I asked for a screwball,” He replied, clearly annoyed.
At this, Patrick's already rosy cheeks turned a violent shade of beetroot. 'Screwball...' he thought to himself, having to cough to suppress the giggle that was dying to escape.
Flashing a grin at the boy, who for some reason made Patrick’s heart skip a beat, he said, “Here you go! That’ll be £1.10 please!”
He handed Pete the screwball with a flourish.
“I, err, thanks!” Pete stammered finding himself unable to break the incredible eye contact he now held with the young, somewhat attractive, ice cream man. “I’m sorry.” Pete managed to stutter going red, “I’m not so good with this English money. I, like, recently moved here with my mom from Chicago…” He grinned at Patrick, “I’m rambling; here this is the right amount isn’t it?” Pete finished, whilst he stared intently at the ice cream man realising they’d barely broken eye contact since he’d started his short speech.
Pete had his hand held out with the money in it, at first Patrick merely stared at it, as if it were some strange foreign object before finally forcing his hand to move from where it had been plastered to his side to take the money from the hazel eyed boy, who he still didn’t know the identity of.
“I…Thanks! Yeah, that’s the right amount, see you around sometime!” Patrick said, managing to keep his cool as the hazel eyed boy grinned clearly pleased that he’d been able to give Patrick the right amount of money, even though in actual fact Patrick had lied. Pete was over 50p short, but he didn’t have the heart to say so.
“Yeah, see you around!” Pete said stumbling backwards slightly as he dazzled Patrick with the single cutest grin he’d ever seen, waving as he went attempting to walk backwards, as to not have to wrench his gaze from this pretty handsome, awkward guy he’d only just met, but yet had felt something he’d never felt for any girl.

=] This is my first chapter of many, I hope you guys like it.
Be nice I’ve never written fan fic before lol, will only continue if it is liked =]
Much love!!!
xxx

There will be more of this soon...must edit chapter 2 grrr...

infamous_gmo @ 2007-08-14T18:01:00

2007-08-14T17:29:19Z

Not long now till we're free of these grey walls,
Not long now till we're free from these big halls,
Soon we can be together all the time,
And I can keep making the most of forever you being mine,
Just like we should and wished from the start that we could.

Whenever you go away, I miss you each and everyday,
And even when it gets too much,
And its you I long to touch
I remember that you love me so, and you’ll never let me go.

It took time making you mine,
But now we're together, this is forever,
I’ll never leave your side,
I’ll never hide my love for you
Especially when it’s so true.

Coz I’m yours,
Yours always,
Yours to stay,
I’ll never ever go away,
When I was at my worst,
You were there for me first,
And when we're free,
We can stay together,
Coz I’m yours till the end of time,
And i love you being mine.

We can leave this crowded city,
Go to some far away place.
No one to make us apart,
To disturb our beating hearts.

I love the effect I have on your sanity,
The way I make you smile;
I love it when you smile.
I keep it like a file,
With the marks you tattooed on my heart,
When you first made it start.

It took a long time making you mine
But now we're going be free,
It'll always be you and me,
And I love you loving me,
Coz without you I'd never have been free.

We'll be free,
We'll b free
It'll be you and me,
We'll be free
We'll b free,
It'll be you and me,
Never ever leave my side,
I’ll never hide my love for you,
Especially when it’s so dam true,
And when its hard to keep on if you’re not there
I just remember the mark on my heart that you left,
Coz u love me too!

Not long now till we're free,
Not long now,
Not long now,
It’s not as if i'll ever stop being, yours.

When we're free,
it'll be you and me,
We've got all our lives.
I'll stick with you coz my love is true,
So true,
I’ll always always love you.
Always.
Always.
Always.

Another song...

2007-08-04T16:48:50Z

If I didn't have you,
I don't think life would be worth living,
Without you I can't stand alone,
You're the one I need,
The only one I see out there when my vision is blurred,
And I feel I can't see my way.

When everything grows dark inside,
You're the one that helps me hide,
You're the one who opened my heart,
Coz it was you who always held the key, from the start.

Imagine I'd never found you,
Imagine we'd never been so close,
Imagine how life would be now,
Not worth living,
Not worth all that giving,
No point at all,
But now I've got you,
Into the darkness,
I wont fall,
I can hear you're voice, and it's me you call.

Since you came my life's been so much better,
I've changed myself,
I've become a better person,
I learnt there was something to be,
I learnt with you, love was so easy.

When everything grows dark,
You're always holding my hand,
Leading the way,
I'll never leave your grasp,
With me promise me you'll stay.

Imagine I'd never found you,
Imagine we'd never been so close,
Imagine how life would be now,
Not worth living,
Not worth all that giving,
No point at all,
But now I've got you,
Into the darkness,
I wont fall,
I can hear you're voice, and it's me you call.

If I ever start to fall promise you'll save me,
Make me hear you're call,
Take my hand,
Pull me through,
I'm gona let you in,
Tell you when I slip,
Let you help me through it all.

I'll come to you for comfort,
I'll come to you for love,
I'll come for you to help me through,
I'll be here for you,
I'll comfort you too,
I'll help you whenever you need me,
I'll be here always,
I'll be here forever,
Till the end,
We'll always be together.

When everything grows dark,
You're always holding my hand,
I learnt there was something for me to be,
I learnt with you, love was so easy.
I'm here for you.

Imagine I'd never found you,
Imagine we'd never been so close,
Imagine how life would be now,
Not worth living,
Not worth all that giving,
No point at all,
But now I've got you,
Into the darkness,
I wont fall,
I can hear you're voice, and it's me you call.

Into the darkness,
I'll never fall,
I can hear you're voice, and it's me you call.

You've stolen my heart <3 Never doubt that.
As Paramore say in their song 'My heart'
"This heart it beats, beats for only you, my heart is yours..."
You're right I should let you in, and in future I will coz I see you really can help and me being silly and hesitant about telling you things just makes it harder for myself, and makes you worry even more than you really need to, when the reason I don't say anything is because I don't want to worry you.
I truly do love you Shaun Gerard Rafferty (your name is so nang its unreal...) <3
*giggles*

drums fingers on desk

2007-08-03T19:07:34Z

I'm bored!!!
I'm waiting!!!
When will you finish my tale!!!
Of when me and shauny kun kidnapped that sexy male!!!
Till then you're in debt my dear!!!
And yes, it is me you should fear!!! =P
You gota love me Jak Jak!!!
But my patience is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin, thiiiin as something MMMEEEEEEEGGGGGAAAAA thiiiiiiin!!!!!!
Love youuuuuu!!! Haha!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MMMMMMMEEEEEEEGGGGGAAAAAA happs =]

2007-08-01T16:20:57Z

Mega happs is my favourite phrase,
It describes how I feel in many different ways,
It tells you I'm not just happy,
I'm so happy I'm bouncing off the walls!!!
No more are there any deep dark falls.
Words can't be put to this great feeling,
Everytime I think about it, it leaves me possitively reeling!
It's like a premanent sherbert/redbull induced high!
I feel sorry for those who have to deal with it,
They must think to themselves "Why oh why!?!"
(*cough* Jackie *cough*)
Jak Jak my bestest pal!
Puts up with my madness,
Doesn't seem to mind my growl =],
The bestest pal I've ever had,
Even if she often on purpose makes me mad (rofl).
Then there's my Shauny kun (along wiv dearest bobby joe =P),
What would I do if he ever had to go? =S,
He's the bestest thing I've ever been blessed to be given,
He made me realise life really was worth living,
He pulled me out of my deep dark pit,
And he always makes me feel like I'm really really fit =P (lmao),
I love him with all my heart and soul,
He filled up my gaping empty hole,
He makes my heart beat MMMEEEEGGGGAAA fast,
And I pray to Jewbob =], that this will always last ( <3 )

*Grins*

As you may be able to tell this is dedicated to Jak Jak Jakalin+Shauny kuuun <3 Whom I both love dearly =D

MWAH!

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

shrugs

2007-07-30T17:06:39Z

Well it's been a while since my last post, so I thought perhaps I should just post something *shrugs* I don't actually have all that much to say for once =S, must be running low on things to inspire me...Oh well I can jus perhaps ramble on for a while...Hmmmmm...Well I could just go into a deep description of my thoughts over the past week or so, as my LJ tells me I haven't updated in a week, although I might say it does feel longer.

Errr...Let's see...I've been quite happs over the past week, and for sometime now, things in my life are going pretty good right now, infact they've never been so damn good...But yet I can't help but still have periods of time where I just feel awfully melancholy (Ooooooh get me using a big word!) either I get like that, or I get really really MAD which is never nice for anyone in the surrounding area when this does occur (Am most sorry to my poor sweet shauny kun who is always there for me when these things do happen...Don't mean to snap...Really don't...)
Hmmmm... What else is there for me to say? I've tried to prevent these moments of feeling anything except happsness, although it does become difficult at times, and I will admit that I don't help matters by some of the things I do that just remind me of the reason why I am often plagued by brief but sharp spells of unhappsness...Also my pc and Ipod have been finding ways of depressing me further by playing possibly the saddest songs I own, even whilst on SHUFFLE!!!!! Grrrrrrrr...One song that especially generally causes my moments of unhappsness to peak is that song that seems to have faithfully followed me through each and every moment of sadness, anger, or any form of non-happsness...'The Ghost of You'
Now who would agree and say that, that is the single most cruel thing my Ipod/PC could do???
There are some people that know the significantness(sp...I think) of it being that song in particular...

Oh well I'm sure all will be well eventually, and the main problemo will sort itself out rather than continue its mean battle to prevail against this new found happsness I have aquired.
Until then I shall just have to find people to confide in, and hope it goes away, I'm sure it will soon enough,
(Or I hope it will lol)
It doesn't seem to wish to die down, or just plain go away, I'll make it so there *laughs at cause of unhappsness*

Much love to all those who are there for me =]
<3
Nai
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Randomness...

2007-07-17T16:44:49Z

Today I went to school,
Today was pretty cool,
I was happs all day,
And later I'm going to wash the dirt out of my hair away!
It doesn't need washing that much,
It's always soft to the touch,
Sometimes I can make it behave,
It always tumbles down in waves.

I'm MEGA happs are you?
Do you feel very cool too?
This is so random, but yet good,
Writing like this, I didn't really think I could,
Normally there is a point to my words,
But today I can't be bothered,
I'm too happs to care,
Woop woop, life's becoming pretty fair,
I always found that rare =]

Being happs is the best,
Go out and have a love fest!
A fun ride on the bus with my love,
Enjoying the sun above,
In the great green park,
Where I can go and have a lark,
With the one that makes me extra happs,
And I don't need no maps,
Coz they don't know park sizes so good,
Grrr that makes me annoyed, I never thought that could!
Oh well,
I had fun,
But it didn't take long until it was done.

Over for now,
But oooh I still grin how,
Coz tommorow is another day,
Where all my troubles will go away!

=D <3
Randomness...

Listen to me vent, you asked for this...

2007-07-11T11:15:58Z

If I seem angry you may be right, Lets not start a fight

You can forget me,
You can regret me,
You can ignore I broke you down,
You can die when I'm not around,
I've had enough of your moaning,
I'm not gona try you, I've already started roaming,
Life is good, and so were you,
I enjoyed the lust,
But you fucked me off, so love was never a must,
I hope my lips taste like you forever,
So I can regret us ever being together,
It was a mistake a goddamn mistake,
I'm glad I managed to awake,
From my blinded sleep,
For you I'll never weep,
I'm a damn bitch,
You shouldn't make me switch,
Thinking how love can turn to hate makes me skin itch,
You think I care, that you're no longer there?
You think I'm honestly stung by your words of hate?
Haha! I'm long gone, I'm not that sad, and you're too late,
We had good times, I enjoyed you being mine,
Oh well in the end it would have never last,
I was screwed up, I went too fast,
Now I'm past ever being sad,
I just get angry,
That's why perhaps I may seem mad,
Shoot me down with your words,
Cut me to pieces with your hate,
But you'll never forget my touch on your skin,
Heh, I let you win,
I give up trying to win you,
You were only ever a prize,
But I've got what I wanted now,
I hope you're happy, try not to stay bitter and foul.

Day 7 in the press office of the british library!!!

2007-07-10T09:43:20Z

Wow!
I can't believe it, I've only got a few more days to gooooo!!!!!
Wooooooo!!!
Back to school next week for one mooore weeeeeeek!!!
*dances* I get to break Jackies faaaaace!!!!hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!lol
As you may be able to gather I'm still extra extra extra extra HAAAAAPPSSSSSS!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
*deep breaths*
*giggles*
heeeheeeeee!!!
*dances* faaaaall ooout boyyyyyy woooya! This song is called 'saturday' and its from 'take this to your grave' I like this song its koooool, hmmmm im bored lets change the tune lol *changes song*
*SQUEALS* MCR!!!WOOOOOOO!!!
I love love love this song 'Headfirst for Halos' ,tis from their fiiiirst albuuuum everrrrrrrr and my fave fave bit *bops up and dwn* is wen he says 'Think happt thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts...' looooool
Coz it makes me fink happy thoughts!!!!!!
Kun kun makes me fink happy thought =]]] *blushes and giggles* he makes me happs =]...
*hums to mcr* lol i love this its so speedy and fuuun to listen to *sings* We'll fly hooome, we'll fly hoooome, you and I, now honestly that wot i sed to her, thats wot i saaaid to herrrrrrrr'
*grins* Sugar we're going dooooowwwwwnnn!!!!!!!!
I love my ipod *huggles ipod*
It used to be really mean and play lots and lots of depressing music even wen it was on shuffle!!!it was the most irritating thiiing everrrrrr!!!!!lol

Well should do something productive now lol

Bwi bwi!!! *waves* lol
Might go find wrk buddy actually...

MWAH!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nomi [S-K owns my <3]
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Day six in the press office of the british library =]

2007-07-09T08:48:35Z

Hi peeeeps!!!
So far so good, no one else I really here yet lol
Tis rather dull, but I've got my Ipod so I'm happs lol well I actually very happs anywayz but yeah! lol
Just listening to The Killers, as you should be able to see from the bit where it says what I'm listening to
*hums to it* lol I like this song =]]]]]
My mum used to like singing it but she'd change the words so it said, "somebody told me you had a girlfreind that looked like a boyfriend" it used to piss me off sooooo much lol
My mums a weird weird little person (well shes not very little but yeah...)lol
So anywayz back to the work situation, did jak shit on friday afternoon was best afternoon everrrrrrrrr!!!!!!lol
boss was away both employers are on hols, scary secretary was gone home it wer sooooo grrrr8!!!!!!lol
Drew on stickynote pads and left ppl comments on myspace (not that I dnt do dat even wen the boss and everyone else is here lol)looool boss jus went passed, had to look lyk i was doin sumtin productive lol
Should go and get the newspapers wen I'm done =]
Noooooo the scary lady is here ='[[[[ i h8888 herrrrrrrr!!!! aaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!
She soooo irritating!!!! >=[
Well I should be going now, gota do something *grimaces* dont want to look lyk a lazy git coz teacher might be visiting today or tomorow lol

Bi Bi!!!!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Nomiii [owned by SK]
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I thought I should write a song about happsness coz it's not everyday I'm this happs for this long!!

2007-07-09T08:34:40Z

The Cynic

Cupid's shot me down,
I don't know what to do,
I can't think straight,
I'm quite a reck,
And it's all because of you!

My heart beats fast everytime you're near,
My palms are sweaty,
My stomachs in knots,
This is my damn worst fear!

At last the cynic's been proven wrong,
That silly battle went on for too long,
Now my heart beats like a drum,
It finally sees, that love ain't dumb,
I was in the dark for a long long time,
But now you've shown me,
That love lives on,
Now I see this feeling is so damn strong!

In the begginning,
I admit I was scared,
I didn't realise quite how much you cared,
But now I can't deny,
The fact it's true,
Jees I really am in love with you!

At last the cynic's been proven wrong,
That silly battle went on for too long,
Now my heart beats like a drum,
It finally sees, that love ain't dumb,
I was in the dark for a long long time,
But now I see you were always mine.

I used to hate the mere mention of love,
Now I can't stop being so damn happy,
Singing love songs,
Those heartbreak tunes are long gone,
Coz you've fixed my heart,
When I thought it was beyond repair,
When I'd lost all hope,
When my soul was empty,
You saved my soul!
I'll say this now and forever,
I'll make sure we'll always be together,
Without you I'd be lost,
My heart would turn back to frost.

You saved my soul,
You mended my heart,
You saved my soul,
You mended my heart.

At last the cynic's been proven wrong,
This battle is over after so damn long!!!!!

At last the cynic's been proven wrong,
That silly battle went on for too long,
And now I can take on the world when you're here,
Coz my heart beats,
Love lives on,
You've made me strong,
You saved my soul,
You saved my heart,
You saved my soul,
You mended my heart.

I love you with everything my heart could possibly possess,
There's so much now that I could confess,
But I think for now I'll keep it in.

Heh, she'll never even read this...Jackie do me a little favour...?

2007-07-06T08:48:04Z

You should know I still need you,
You should know I never stopped,
I know I was a fool letting you go,

But just take off your mask thats all I ask,
Let me in, fine you win,
I should have made this last,
But my head was crying,
And my heart was lying,
There was no point denying my heart,
Of its time to heal,
It did want you, coz it knew yoy were real,
For the longest time, I'd wished you were mine,
Then when I got my chance,
I tore us apart, with my stupid lies,
And my empty cries...

I should have let you in,
But I closed up,
I thought this was too good to be true,
I was a cynic with a broken heart,
A heart not ready to make a fresh start,
A heart not ready for her and her love to be apart...

But just take off your mask thats all I ask,
Let me in, fine you win,
I should have made this last,
But my head was crying,
And my heart was lying,
There was no point denying my heart,
Of its time to heal,
It did want you, coz it knew yoy were real,
For the longest time, I'd wished you were mine,
Then when I got my chance,
I tore us apart, with my stupid lies,
And my empty cries...

I know I was stupid!
I know I was wrong!
But all that I'm asking is that you can just hold on,
Take my hand,
Stay by my side,
When I said I loved you I never ever lied,
I just wasn't ready, that's all I can ever say,
But I never wanted it to turn out this way,
I hoped that over time the pain would pass,
But in the end, 'it' always made my heart beat too fast,
The time we shared was so damn good,
If I could do anything just to make you see,
We can be happy, but together is what we'll never be...
Please oh please just forgive me...

You should know I still need you,
You should know I never stopped,
You should know I still need you,
You should know I never stopped,
You should know I still need you,
You should know I never stopped...

Until you see,
Happy is what we can be,
I'm gona Make Damn Sure,
That you come back to me,
If you don't all I ask,
Is that you're happy with someone else,
And one day you can take off that mask...

Just take it off,
Just take it off,
You're so beautiful,
Just take it off,
You're so beautiful,
You've got nothing to hide,
Let someone in,
Let them see where you reside,
I know you've been hurt,
But just take it off.

I still love you I never stopped,
I still need you I never lied,
In my heart there'll always be a place you can reside...

I know your favourite colour =]

Something I wrote when bored at WEX

2007-07-05T13:46:08Z

'Both sides of the street, unknown'

Won't you come walk down both sides of the street with me?
Won't you hold my hand,
Join my band of lovers,
Where each loves no others.

Feel that buzz you get from my touch,
Walk with me,
Who knows where it might lead,
It's your desire I can feed,
I know it's me you need.
Come, stay by my side,
It's in our hearts that we reside,
In this band of lovers,
Here no one loves no others.

Aren't you even slightly curious to what it's like to be,
One of us?
To feel the lust,
Of each others touch,
I know you want me,
I know you want this.

So come walk with me down both sides,
Come find out where this heart resides,
If you want it can stay with you,
I know you want a heart so true,
I know your desires.

Feel that buzz you get from my touch,
Walk with me,
Who knows where it might lead,
It's your desire I can feed,
I know it's me you need.
Come, stay by my side,
It's in our hearts that we reside,
In this band of lovers,
Here no one loves no others.

Let's be infamous together,
Let's not conform,
Let's be our own people forever,
Run away with me from the chains of restraint,
I'll set you free,
Come now, be with me,
I know your lonely,
I can let you be,
You can be whoever you want,
Just join me now,
I'll show you how,
I'll show you now,
I'll show you how.

Come walk with me down both sides of this street,
Let's be infamous together,
Let's be free forever,
Let's be free forever,
Let's be free forever.

It's your desire I can feed,
I know it's me you need.
Come, stay by my side,
It's in our hearts that we reside,
In this band of lovers.
Where we can be together.
Free.

I thought it was necassery that Shauny Kun had his own theme tune!!! =]]]

2007-07-05T08:46:15Z

A poem for Shauny Kun
By Nomi.H

Shauny kun,
Shauny kun,
Ooh I love my Shauny kun.

He's my bestest friend in the whole wide world,
And he loves me lots and that'll never got old.

He makes me smile whenever we talk,
And soon I get to meet him,
Then we can walk.

With his smart jokes,
He makes me giggle,
And the things he says make my heart wiggle.

Shauny kun,
Shauny kun,
Oooooh I love my Shaunyyy kuuuuun!!!

This is Shauny Kun's special theme tune!!!
=]]]]]